The Expendables review

I'm going to do as Sly and the boys should've and cut to the chase; "The Expendables" is a big, bullet riddled let down. It's success is in making sure that it could pack almost every big name action star from the past thirty or so years into one movie and attempt to give them something interesting to do. Beyond that it's a rather mid level action film with a story that makes absolutely zero sense (not in the acceptable, fun way) and some of the worst, most disjointed one liners ANY of these guys have ever had in their movies.

I'd like to also discuss the rumor I had heard recently about the film being originally made for PG-13 and that Stallone and co. were going to edit it into an R. This seems extremely likely after viewing the finished product. Anyone who saw "Rambo" knows that he can pull off with in camera action. Bodies torn apart, necks ripped out and so on... not so much the case here. I mean sure there's stabbing and bodies blown apart... but with horrid CGI. I feel like I could make some concessions if the action worked, but once we get to the big finale at the compound, with all the soldiers and explosions and death it's kind of... well... it's very 'meh'. Honestly when I walked out after the movie I said that the film should've began with the ending sequence. The CGI building blowing up looks cheap, the river of fire looks good only when it was igniting and almost all the kills are cheap and fast CGI. I mean what the hell happened here? What happened to the big throwback movie to these guy's heyday?

Alright, allow me to try and dive into this 'plot'. Basically Stallone, Statham, Li, Lundgren, Crews and Couture are a team of mercenaries that get commissioned for a job by Bruce Willis. Said job involves a small island in the gulf, a pussy general and Eric Roberts as the lamest ass drug dealer in the history of these sort of movies. Other that your guess is as good as mine as to what they were supposed to be doing there. This then leads to a boring car chase, a couple of pretty good fights scenes (one with Jet Li and Dolph Lundgren is pretty well done) and a few other action set pieces that are very hit and miss. What sucks is that most of the pieces that work, were the ones that got pushed up in advertising so the thrill of the surprise was gone. What's pretty much left was the CGI kills and a couple of over the top scenes like Terry Crews throwing a tank shell in the air and Stallone shooting it. Could've been cooler, but it was alright. Still none of those things save "The Expendables" from just being downright lame and somewhat boring.

In addition to the crappy CG kills there is another tell-tell sign that indeed this was originally made for PG-13. Despite everything going on in this movie, there was but one 'fuck' uttered the entire time. In fact at one point Eric Roberts fully sounds out the word 'freaking' when threatening to kill one of the characters. C'mon... really? Roberts' role in 'The Dark Knight' really made me start thinking that he was on a sweet comeback trail and going to be doing some (hopefully) Dafoe level character acting again. Nope. For a while I was thinking maybe if they would've gotten someone else for the part, like James Woods, Samuel L. Jackson, Kurt Russell, Williem Dafoe or even Antonio Banderas that they could've made something more as the villain. But as it all continued it became clear that perhaps they lacked interest because the character and story was so bland. Consider "Rambo", the villain was absolutely nasty, ruthless and loathsome and the story was 'ripped from the headlines'. All this made the big final fight all the sweeter when Stallone guts him and his men. That's what we should've had here, but with more fun.

As for our heroes I can say I enjoyed Statham as Lee Christmas, a man just trying to get the girl. Jet Li, who had a running joke about him being smaller than everybody thus meaning he ought to get more money cause he can get hurt easier and he has to work harder. And Terry Crews as (get ready for it) Hail Caesar, who sports an auto-shotgun with explosive rounds. He also owns one of the better kill sequences in the movie. Beyond that Stallone seems bored and is thus boring, Lundgren is reduced to a few scenes where he looks like hammered shit and spouts off some terrible one liners that makes stuff said in "Commando" sound like Shakespeare; and UFC fighter Randy Couture who is pretty much given one line and one short fight scene with Steve Austin. Austin by the way appears to be built like a stone wall and has about three audible line the whole movie.

None of this makes me happy to say either. I went in hoping and believing that Stallone had crafted a big, fun action movie that would remind the world why he mattered. Packing in all these stars would easily get his exposure back up as well and let people have fun seeing their favorites go at it. Sly got a great cast, but should have opted not to write or direct the film beyond coming up with the basic story. His past two directed and starring works ('Rocky Balboa' and 'Rambo') showed that he did still have a knack for making action movies and making them well. "The Expendables" is like a big step backwards. It's not impressive and is only sometimes fun and it's way more mindless then it ought to be. I mean I'm not looking for some Nolan or Kurbrick shit here, after all I openly like Michael Bay movies. This makes Bay at his worst appear to be a decent storyteller. I'm talking "Transformers 2" lack of storytelling ability here. Such a shame.

The Other Guys review

Odd as it seems "The Other Guys" isn't an easy movie for me to write about. Probably because it's filled with loads of disjointed lunacy and allows it's strangely "smarter" (which is to say complicated) crime plot to play second or even third fiddle. Then again this is something that we've all come to expect from Will Ferrall and co-writer/director Adam McKay's pictures together. This is the pairs fourth film and surprisingly one I've enjoyed more than their last too.

I'll never forget seeing "Anchorman" in theaters (this was before it got huge and was over quoted and ran into the ground). I saw it on a whim to kill some time on the weekend and hadn't really been all that impressed with the trailers. Still word of mouth had been good and it was being pushed like crazy on television as well as every damn movie I had seen that summer had a trailer for it attached. So I watched it and absolutely went nuts for it. It was completely devoid of what most comedies have... you know... that narrow path of sense and senselessness. Well this was all senselessness, but creative. It would become the duo's style of storytelling and film making. Next they had "Talladegga Nights" which left me pretty damn disappointed. I know people LOVE the film to death, but it was too one sided for me. The first half is as great as comedy can be, while the second half is dull and fairly uninteresting. Regardless it blew up like a nuclear bomb and is I think their best success to date. Then they went R-rated with "Step Brothers". This one I had to sit on. I found many parts funny, but SO many parts completely and utterly stupid, almost to the point of it being too stupid. However I'll say the extended cut works a good deal better for me and while it's FAR from being a great comedy, it does work well enough.

Ok fucking history lesson over; now to "The Other Guys". I had a friend see it earlier yesterday and we discussed it before I went to watch it. For her it was much like my feelings on "Talladegga Nights". There were parts early on she really dug, but as it dragged on she seemed to lose interest. She's not wrong either, it is a bit lopsided. However why "The Other Guys" works for me is the little things. First off we all know that Will Ferrell is going to say something completely out of the blue, outlandish and fucking stupid that will make 8 out of 10 people in the audience laugh. That well sort of ran dry for me two movies ago. So instead of working quite like that, he dials it down a few notches. This allows for him to be funny in slightly more conventional ways, but also for different gags to play out. He does still make those comments and yes some are fucking stupid and unfunny, BUT there are a select few that really work.

Another reason is this cast. I love, love, love this cast far more than I thought I'd might. No one feels underused or overused. In general Mark Walhberg is a funny guy, here he gets to really show off. It's not all punchline humor, it's not all improv, or situational; it's like a bastard mix of them all. He plays the angry cop. The one who hates being partnered with Ferrell who never wants to leave his desk and hates being mocked for wanting to do the right thing. Michael Keaton plays their captain and effectively steals a few scenes from the other actors. There is a particular gag that runs throughout with him that I really enjoy. You'll see. Then you have Eva Mendas playing the perfect wife that gets neglected, Steve Coogan and Ray Stevenson as our 'villains', Ice-T narrating and of course a gloriously over the top series of action sequences with Samuel L. Jackson and Dwayne Johnson as hero cops. The more I think about just their sequences the more I actually want to see it all again.

As an action film it's not unskilled either. DP Oliver Wood ("The Bourne Identity") knows clever ways of shooting action that doesn't make it amazing looking, but is cool and effective. I've noted several times that it seems harder for comedy directors to switch to action then it is the other way around. I guess I'm still waiting for that action comedy that looks like Michael Bay directed it, but sounds like Mel Brooks wrote it. Hey, I can dream. And yet with all this I can still see why "The Other Guys" just might not mesh with everybody.

It's not a film to convert non-Ferrell fans or people are aren't fans of their style. And yes the second half of the movie strays a little bit from the humor it had to slightly more physical humor and jokes at the expense of the action. That can make a movie feel really lopsided switching gears as quickly as they did. A good example is "The Condemned"... (you know the one with Steve Austin and the convicts on an island fighting to the death and it being broadcast on pay per view... ). The first half is a fun, hard knocking action picture that actually works well. Then the second half of the movie starts steering towards this anti-violence message drama to the media that culminates in a sequence that almost kills all the fun you had in the prior 80 minutes. "The Other Guys" switch isn't nearly that damning, but it can and probably will lose some people with it.

When it's all said and done I found it fun and funny and easily the most successful action, comedy to come out this year. I had a strange comparison last night to "The Other Guys" with Kevin Smith's pretty damn bad "Cop Out" from earlier this year. The films have a very similar tone and qusi-similar style and humor, but "The Other Guys" is basically what "Cop Out" would've been in any of their jokes worked. Although I hear being in the right... how shall I say it... 'mindset' while watching "Cop Out" makes it all work. I question that and think I'll stick with this one that already works on its own.

Winter's Bone review

"Winter's Bone" was a big hit at the Sundance film festival this year. So much of a hit that it took home the best picture prize. No easy feet. Based on the acclaimed novel of the same name, "Winter's Bone" is a backwoods noir story about a teenage girl taking care of her two young siblings and her ill mother while her father has disappeared. Things where they're at already seemed rather... rough from the opening shots of their home and surrounding woods and neighbors; but making matters worse is that her father has a court date to meet and cannot be found. He was released on bond and put up the house as collateral. So if he's a no show then they lose everything.

Thus Ree played by Jennifer Lawrence begins a dark and dangerous quest to track down her father and bring him back. Not so simple in a place where nobody wants to talk and everybody has got something to hide. Ree will go to the edge of death and deal with people would think little to nothing about silting her throat and tossing her in the woods. Lawrence is almost as terrific in this role as Ellen Paige was in "Juno". It's a character that could easily get bogged down into the pratfalls of type of indie suspenseful drama like this, but she never happens. In fact the mystery is dialed down a few notches as well so that we are mainly caring about this family that seems devoid of hope. I'll count that sadly though as something against "Winter's Bone". This is a ploy that works best when you really care about the kids and the family. Did I? Meh... yes and no. Personally my feelings towards tough for the sake of tough woods people aren't all that strong. But I did care somewhat due to seeing all the work that Ree had put in attempting to raise the children properly and care for her mother who seems to have lost her mind after dealing so much with the evils of her husband.

John Hawkes also delivers the a key and phenomenal performance in the film as Teardrop, Ree's uncle. He's surly, crass and about as rough around the edges as possible, but he cares. Personally I think both Lawrence and Hawkes could have Oscar nods and they would be very deserving. The other people we meet and locations we see are about as real and gritty as they get. De-contracted shacks and trailers out in the middle of nowhere with these fairly horrible fucking people inhabiting them. But it feels 100% real and probably because it was.

The finale of the picture for me is what does elevate it to the next level from being a slightly above average suspense drama, to something more is it nearly hitting on some carnal horror moments. Not simply in the traditional way, but in it's narrative as well which becomes slightly more down beat. I won't let you know what it all boils down to, but it's not particularly pleasant. I don't think "Winter's Bone" is the best thriller I've seen all year (much like my feelings on "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo"), but it's worthy of much of it's acclaim and could have a stronger following down the line. Probably due to it's terrific performances.

Dinner for Schmucks review

What makes Jay Roach's remake "Dinner for Schmucks" work is what could and has killed other comedies. The movie was unhinged almost from square one and that's something more so reserved for smaller comedies from the independent market. Now it's not full blown and all the way out there, but it's pretty damn near it. The result is a surprisingly very funny picture that mixes mainstream punchline humor, mild slap stick and situational humor in a way that works and doesn't quite tire you out.

Now all this said Steve Carrell and Paul Rudd have played these characters before. They're great at playing people like this, however it's all slightly tilted. Carrell's Barry could be compared with Brick from "Anchorman" mixed with Michael Scott from "The Office". By the way this isn't leading to a backhanded insult, that mixture is oddly fantastic and takes what could've been a pretty one note character that's hit or miss with laughs and actually makes him constantly quite funny. In Roger Ebert's review he made a great point in stating that it's funnier when someone generally doesn't know they are doing something ridiculous and is thus quite serious about it. He's 100% correct. Rudd's character Tim is much like his character in "I Love You, Man", which I'm alone in thinking was just ok apparently. Rudd is a great cynic and his Tim keeps that streak alive. He's much more of the straight man than usual though so expect more laughs at his expense then at his actions.

The strongest piece of the puzzle though is the supporting cast which is loaded with talent across the board. From the office workers and bosses like Bruce Greenwood, Ron Livingston and Kristen Schaal to the various other schmucks like Zack Galifianakis, Lucy Punch and Jemaine Clement; they all get more than enough space to dig in and have their moments of glory. In fact it feels rare to see a mainstream comedy like this really giving out it's space to just about everybody in the film. It reminds me kind of like the heyday of action-comedies where you had your two leads and then you got the full experience of meeting all the crazy people along their adventure. Hopefully "The Other Guys" will have a little of that in it.

Really the only thing that holds "Dinner for Schmucks" back is it's run time and it's tie-it-all up ending. The ending was an issue I kind of had with "Role Models" as well where I felt like things are ended up very unrealistically clean. However that was a small dent in what was otherwise extremely funny and entertaining. The run time is just a touch longer than it ought to be though. If the film had crossed the two hour mark then I think it might not have fared quite so well overall, much like a lot of Broken Lizard's films. As the film stands there's far more action taking place in a short period of time then I expected which gets a little exhausting at times, but once the dinner kicks off we get a nice mixture of different characters and different humors so we're not bombarded with the same things over and over again. I've gotta say while Jay Roach's last couple of directorial efforts left me cold ("Meet the Fockers" and "Austin Powers in Goldmember"), especially considering his work of the prior films in those series'; "Dinner for Schmucks" more than makes up for those missteps and is one of the few impressive and highly entertaining comedies I've seen this summer.

Salt review

Apparently the ending of the summer is shaping up to kick the beginnings ass. "Salt" literally came out of left field for me. I wasn't feeling the trailers or posters or "Who is Salt?" tagline. I liked that Jolie was showing off her age a tad bit and looking somewhat less pristine than usual, but there wasn't anything there that got me exciting to see it.

But damned if I don't love a good surprise here and there and "Salt" was it. Not only does it work as an action film, but also as a more than competent thriller and chase film that recycles things we've seen before and yet displays them and uses them in a fresh and very, very exciting way. Off the bat I'm not telling you who Salt is. But I will say that shock of all shocks that tagline IS important to the plot of the movie. It's an awesome early story turn that brought me into that 'where's this headed' zone. Damn... I remember when tons of action movies had those fun moments where you just weren't at all sure what was to come next... good times.

"Salt" is written by Kurt Wimmer ('Equilibrium' and 'Ultraviolet', I think I finally forgive him for that second title), who is pretty good at using all the old tricks, but making them fun again. Salt is on the run and is a highly training enemy the CIA must track down and grab. Been there and done that, but damned if he and director Philip Noyce don't attempt to drum up some interesting tension, have fun with the characters and then go into full ass kicking mode. Noyce, who is a highly skilled action filmmaker on the level of Mann and Zwick, never gets the credit he deserves. To this day I absolutely love "Clear and Present Danger", "The Quiet American", "Patriot Games" and "Rabbit Proof Fence" and that is where "Salt" fits in. It's a smarter than usual, espionage action, thriller. It's shot fantastically by Robert Elswit (all of Paul Thomas Anderson's film) and edited by the glorious Stuart Baird and John Gilroy. Both are men who KNOW this world back and forth. Shit... why the fuck wasn't I jazzed for this movie again?!

Now we come to Jolie. As an actress she's got her ups and downs. I'll say with her action based roles it's definitely been more downs. Her work in "Wanted" was pretty good, but nothing mind blowing (pun intended), but then there's the dreadful "Tomb Raider" pictures as well as "Gone in 60 Seconds" and probably a few others that escape me. Here she finally hits that mark for me that makes me fully buy her action hero status. Very little CGI, mostly hard hitting practical action work and stunts that look fantastic and are never too over the top as to remove you from what going on. I like the fact that Jolie is willing to get dirty in the film. She willing to be beaten to a pulp, tortured, shot and so on and not look like a super model or superhero the entire time. There's even a nice little homage to the world of "Mission Impossible" that is pretty ridiculous on some levels, but she sells it. Honestly I'd like other performers looking to dive into action to look at this as a training tool. How you can sell some rather insane things and make them work for an audience. Might have sorta helped "Prince of Persia". Well... maybe not that one.

I do think Sony's chosen release for "Salt" is unfortunate. While it's a prime film for the summer, still I think it could've been a monster success if released during a dead heap of the spring or fall. Much like what studios did with "Taken" or "The Transporter" films. I feel like right now it's just caught in the massive coat tails of "Inception" and will only get lost in the shuffle of other big ticket action pieces coming in August. "Salt" is absolutely one of the most generally entertaining and fun films I've seen all summer; trumping "The A-Team" and even "Predators". Have you seen "Inception"? Are you looking for something lighter that you can kick back and watch some good ole' fashioned ass stomping, but with some cognitive thought and a story? "Salt" is by far your best bet.

Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work review

The mark of a truly good documentary is when it can take someone or something you dislike or simply don't care about and actually make you care. After watching "Exit Through the Gift Shop" which is brimming with topics that highly interest me and thus made me love the film and it's subject matter more while viewing it in somewhat of a different light, I then went for "Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work". A documentary chronicling a year in the life of the groundbreaking comedienne/ talk show host/ red carpet interviewer/ plastic surgeon's blooper reel highlight. The result was an entertaining, witty, funny and seemingly truthful look at show business and a dimming star trying to regain her clout.

I grew up long after Rivers had 'peaked' in the entertainment world and thus have always seen her as that frightful looking, loud mouthed woman that talks about fashion while making rough attempts at humor. I was well aware that she had been a stand up comic, but I never really cared to see any of her shtick. However with this film not only did it make you understand where she came from and her importance, but also somewhat sympathize with a comic that in her heart of hearts always wanted to be more. Someone who wanted to be a serious actress. In addition to that it also showed that despite everything she is (to my surprise) funny and witty both on stage and off. Seriously... did not see that coming.

I do find comedians to be interesting people. Stand ups are especially interesting as they really must take a grand leap of faith to get up under those lights and attempt to make people laugh anyway possible. Seeing her life of doing fourth rate venues, attempting to get a new play off the ground and trying to get any work possible is a fascinating look into that two headed monster called show business. Much of Rivers' insights into it all are equally fascinating and most of all seemingly earnest. After all she's been doing this since the late sixties, is still around and living like a queen so she must be doing something right. At the same time we get a look at someone who is pretty damaged. A lot of the film steers slightly away from her various plastic surgeries, only touching on it near the beginning. From what I could gather it all seemingly came from her desire to be loved and how she never felt beautiful. Fairly classic tale of the whole thing I guess so perhaps no further discussion is necessary. Instead it talks about her quick rise to stardom, her falling out with Johnny Carson, NBC and FOX and the death of her husband and what followed. And despite it all... here she still is.

So how is it that Rivers, who is now more of a joke than anything has lasted this long? Because she's a work horse. She's constantly looking for new gigs anywhere possible to return to the spotlight and reinvent herself. In this day and age it isn't impossible obviously. Look at the huge Betty White following that's come around. Do I buy into it? No, but who cares cause everybody else does. Chuck Norris was even a fucking... thing for a while and why?! He can't act, 90% of his movies are shit even on the it's so bad it's good level and he's a fairly boring guy. But hey... if someone like Carlos fucking Mencia can be something of note then I firmly believe that Rivers can arise again as well. Through what though I don't know.

The one flaw that holds the whole film back from greatness is simply run time. It's all really damn interesting and entertaining, but it never seems to have a particular finale in mind until it's splashed upon you. It's inter cut with pieces of Rivers' stand up acts which are sometimes too over the top, but a lot of times far wittier and funnier than A LOT of the shit we hear from Dane Cook or other crap comedians around now. I almost feel like docs like this for other comedians who've lost their way could be a helpful tool for the public to see them in a different, more candid light as well as for them to exorcise some of their inner demons and get them out in front of them (Murphy and Myers, I'm looking at you). Despite all my highly mixed emotions going into the film, I'm very glad I did see it.

Exit Through the Gift Shop review

Question: have you heard of this film "Exit Through the Gift Shop"? If the answer is no then I'm not at all surprised and I'd highly advise you to head to youtube or imdb or whatever and take a look at the trailer and the reactions it's been getting from viewers. If you the answer to the question is yes, but you haven't seen it, then I'd advise you to find a fucking way to see it and pronto.

"Exit Through the Gift Shop" is a documentary directed by Banksy, a well known UK street artist that has widely expanded his particular brand of artistic, politic satire across the globe. And while the film is made by him its main focus is actually on a somewhat cartoonish and never dull frenchmen named Thierry Guetta. Thierry for several years has lived with a camcorder stuck to his hand. Everywhere he went, everything he did... was recorded. It wasn't until he met a street artist named Space Invader (made popular for replicating 8-bit characters on streets using discarded rubix cube pieces) that all his filming began to have a direction. From then on Thierry was hooked to the world of street art and through Invader was able to meet dozens upon dozens of other creative and mesmerizing artists.

However the question must be asked... why was he filming them? What was the purpose of it all; the end result? No one knew. Thierry didn't even know. But that didn't keep him from filming everything in sight. Eventually all Thierry's filming of artists came to a head when he wanted to meet the infamous Banksy, who is still a man of mystery. But by luck of the draw they did meet and became friends after a few quite rough, but rewarding events. Most of what they show and discuss is pretty hairy stuff and actually makes from some intense, tension filled sequences to the picture. Other encounters are quite humorous and light hearted, but help to really see a little bit more what these artists are really like.

I refuse to spoil much else about the whole film because it's best seen than heard about. I will say that by the end of the film your opinion on Thierry may change and you will question how sane or flat out insane of a man he really is. But not everything hinges solely on the very fucking interesting story of this man. It's also the best account of the world of street artists. Really in the 2000's it's been hard to identify what the counter-culture is. It's been pin pointed easily anywhere from the 50's thru the 90's... but now the lines have become quite blurred. Some might suggest that hipsters are the current counter-culture, but I highly disagree. My thought is the world 'culture' means more than shopping at thrift stores, smoking cloves and drinking cheap ass beer while sportin' an 'I'm-better-than-you' attitude. They're simply a more fashionable slacker. So I would identify the new wave of graffiti artists as that counter-culture. Guerrilla art that often is satirical of world happenings, the media and other hot button topics or concepts. Plus a lot of it looks cool.

"Exit Through the Gift Shop" has a little bit of everything I love seeing at the movies. Not just in documentaries, but films in general. The characters, the humanity, the realistic humor, the tension, the stories and the experience of seeing something new and creative. As it stands right now this may be my favorite film of 2010; it has all the energy and creativity of any big brand film out right now. I urge you all to see this film.