I've been trying to figure out nice ways of expressing all that I feel about this film, it's predecessor and it's fan base, and I've come to the conclusion that I can't find a really nice way of doing it. It's like talking about "Saw" or "Twilight" and their fans kind of. Okay... maybe that's a little harsh, but then again a lot of their fans can be dickish to non-saints lovers so they've got this coming.Why are they so loyal to these cheap, imitations of good crime action films? Maybe it's the whole 'anyone could make this movie' look to it that's inspiring? Maybe not enough of their fans have seen the movies these are ripping off (sometimes blatantly ripping off) or seen any actually good movies in this genre. Maybe they've just got bad taste? Nah... many of them are Tarantino fans as well so that can't be it I guess. Hell, maybe it's just an Irish and Catholic thing. Whatever the case, because of said fans writer-director Troy Duffy has created a second and possibly soon... a third one of these pictures. Good news is that I don't think this is has smelly, reeking and pretentious of a rip off as the first one. But it still sucks a lot.
Norman Reedus and Sean Patrick Flanery return as the two hitmen/vigilantes/cursin' Irish brothers MacManus (name taken from "The Usual Suspects"). The boys along with their father, an older hitman played by Billy Connolly; a character which seems to serve very little purpose except to add another story to the movie and give a "Righteous Kill" worthy twist at the end. They all live together back in Ireland and are called back into the seedy underbelly of Boston after the murder of a priest by someone pretending to be the boys. This piece of the story and the prep in a lift from dozens of hiding persons movies as a way to draw them out of hiding. The aforementioned prep is a lame version of Karl Urban's character from 'The Bourne Supremacy'... who just happens to have done the EXACT SAME THING in that movie. But wait it's different here because this guy is Spanish or Italian but looks Spanish. Anyways this brings in fill-in-character Special Agent Bloom played by Julie Benz to replace the over acting, over characterized motor mouth gay cop Williem Dafoe played in the first film.
I liked Benz in most of her movies although she has been on a weird rift of doing corny ass accents. Here though her southern accent is as ear bleedingly bad as some of the dialogue in the movie. Furthermore Duffy does several of the same types of shots and sequences as he did with Dafoe, but with Benz smiling seductively and looking at the camera. And apparently every cop... scratch that every man is so dumb in Boston or rather in this movie's version of Boston that no one asks why the fuck she's staring off at the wall all the time and walking that way. Apparently because all the blood from their brains have shot to their dicks, but after six of these scenes you've gotta let it go. But hey... who said this was serious? It's supposed to be a fun, action movie so who needs logic? Well maybe if the action wasn't so crappy it could play that card.
Sorry, but two guys with two desert eagles sliding in slow motion, killing a room full of people with a few drip-drips of blood doesn't cut it. Not in a world where John Woo could do these scenes with ten times that amount of carnage with less money, resources and time. And he did... over two decades ago! These brothers aren't badass either, they're just supped of versions of Duffy's drinking buddies mixed with shallow interpretations of characters from 'Pulp Fiction' and 'Reservoir Dogs'. Shit Benz even has a line stolen from 'Manhunter'! Every action scene in this film has been done and yet still people are going ga-ga over it!
So now I come to the qusi-social commentary which begs the question of are these boys heroes or villains. My thoughts... who the fuck cares?! They both could have bit it in the first twenty minutes and I wouldn't have cared. They lifeless drones walking around trying to talk tough and walk tough in dozens of pointless, stupid and boring scenes with talking, shitty jokes that might have been funny when I was in 8th grade and piss poor shoot-outs. And I'm not someone to be easily bored. Did Harvey Keitel try to be badass in 'Bad Lieutenant'? FUCK NO! He just was. Hell even Paul Walker in 'Running Scared', he succeeded in being a badass in a world of complete and utter shitty chaos. This isn't Scorsese's Boston. There's no fear of being chopped up and feed to the poor. These gangsters are as weak as their punishers and with worst aim than the Russians in 'Rambo III'.
So I'll end this nicely. I feel like I've gotten about as much spite and hell fire out of my lungs and mind as I can. I want to give fans of these film the same treatment I give fans of 'Saw'. Obviously you have an interest in these sort of characters and movies. That's great and wonderful and such, BUT you need to see the light... by seeing some stuff that doesn't suck and isn't wasting your time... I know right now you don't believe me and you think I'm full of shit, but I assure you I know what I'm talking about. There's millions of great, badass, action films that have everything you need and more, but you've gotta get outside and find them first. Never seen old school Scorsese? This is as good a time as any. Missed out on 'Natural Born Killers' or 'The Long Kiss Goodnight'? See em'. Ever heard of 'The King of New York' or either version of 'Bad Lieutenant'? No? Get on Netflix pronto.
"The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day" * out of ****
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