Early 2010 Ruled by Genre Pictures

I was going through the release dates for a few films this morning and began noticing that the spring is actually filled with great to decent looking and sounding horror pictures and genre pictures. It's funny to see what happens when movies like "Taken" and "300" change studios minds about when certain things could get released. Before "300" March was pretty much a waste land for mediocre comedies to drain up some cash or for the blandest films to pick up a little here and there and then disappear. "Taken" became a mega hit through January and February of this year and has seemed to inspire studios to let other action titles take on the spring instead of letting it ride the waves of summer.

Much as it pains me to say it, I feel "Drag Me to Hell" would've performed better either in the spring or fall rather than the summer sandwiched in against "Up" and a week or two before "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen". However with "Shutter Island" would've done well no matter what AND probably been an awards contender this year. But no matter, as soon as we look it'll be in theaters making a killing hopefully. The only thing that's bad about all this is that often these things can go one way or another. Nowadays American audiences want fast food entertainment, and I'm not taking something decent, I'm talking straight out the grease pit, dropped on the floor, wrapped up with a few dead roaches and flung at them, which they'll happily chop into. This is how "Paul Blart: Mal Cop" made $64,000,000.

But there's some good looking stuff coming along anyways. Enough to where people could avoid shitty comedies, awful looking PG-13 horror films directed at tweens or young teens that don't know any better, cheap-o dramas and overly cliche' action films with not style or soul.

I mean you get "Daybreakers", about as genre crazy as it gets. Vampires in the future that are harvesting humans and now the blood is running out. You get Sam Neil, who when he isn't doing plays and running from dinosaurs, can be one creepy as hell villain. Ethan Hawke as a vampire scientist who's become disillusioned with this world and gets changed back to human by Williem Dafoe and now they've got some slainin' and changin' to do. I know, I know... the idea of vampires actually killing someone and sucking their blood is a bit over the top. But I guess the creators don't care too much for ones that glitter all the time.

"The Book of Eli" aka Denzel with a machete in the wastelands of the world. Immediately after the trailer launched people made connections between the film's look and the game "Fall-Out 3". I agree, but "Fall-Out 3" never made Denzel, perhaps ones of cinemas most entertaining badasses to watch. Even when the movie is poor, he's still on his A-game. Furthermore he's protecting a bible with his very life against Gary Oldman and Ray Stevenson and teaching Mila Kunis the ropes. And this is the Hughes brothers first film since "From Hell" a rather underrated thriller with Johnny Depp.

And finally "Shutter Island". The big dog. Martin Scorsese goes horror and I couldn't be happier. The film screened at Butt Num-a-thon in Austin, TX a few weeks ago. The AICN crew has reviewed it and loved it calling it one of his best directed films and saying that this may be DiCaprio's best performance as well. The movie is pure thriller involving an escaped mental patient, a series of mysterious doctors, the CIA... and well... tons of mysterious shit like that. Now audiences of late have given mystery films the rope. Something that's missed me off to high heaven, but I figure with names like Scorsese, DiCaprio, Kingsley, Ruffalo... it'll get itself a nice audience for quite a few weeks.

Others of interest is the "Nightmare on Elm Street" remake with Jackie Earle Harley ('Watchmen'), Nic Cage and Ron 'Hellboy' Pearlman play knights and fight crazy ass witches in "Season of the Witch", Robert Rodriguez's grindhouse trailer "Machete" hits the screen in feature length with the likes of Trejo, Lohan, Don Johnson, Steven Segal and Jessica Alba as well as a treat for "Planet Terror" fans. Benicio Del Toro is "The Wolfman" written by Andrew Kevin Walker ('Se7en') and is being hunted by Agent Smith i.e. Hugo Weaving. Even if this movie looked cheap and was rated PG-13 I'd see it. Paul Greengrass and Matt Damon re-team for a non-Bourne film, "Green Zone". Steve Pink producer of "High Fidelity" and "Grosse Point Blank" r-team for the lowbrow, but filled with potential to rock "Hot Tub Time Machine". "Clash of the Titans"... Liam Neeson is Zeus, what the fuck else matters? "The Runaways"... i.e. the story of the band starring... Kristen Stewart, please don't fuck this up. Jude Law and Forrest Whittaker are "Repo Men" for a futuristic organ company; there will be blood and laughter. "The Losers", based on the graphic novel about CIA agents cut loose by the government and almost killed. The cast makes me smile with Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Chris Evans, Zoe Saldana, Idris Elba and Columbus Short. Oh and it's screenplay is written by Peter Berg (director of 'The Kingdom' and 'Hancock'). Comic adaptation of "Kick-Ass", nuff said there.

So you see... there's a lot of cool shit to see in the spring. 2010 gonna be interesting I think.

BEST FILMS OF 2009

As it happens just about every year I get the misfortune of not getting to see all the films I want and esspecially the ones around this part of the year. I get tired of waiting for extended January release dates and searching for uploaded for your consideration DVD versions of the movies, so I write my best list without a few films. But as I see them I do still review them, so in the early 2010 months you can expect a number of 2009 reviews for films I sadly missed. Now with all that said I do still have a certain love for this list. And that is because most of these films were made within the mainstream Hollywood curcuit. Meaning that despite what it often feels like, many people in that town DO get what's wrong with a lot of mainstream films and attempt to change it and better it. Hell even the ones I haven't seen were, but think I'd like were made that way so 2009 was maybe the best mainstream year in long time. Now enough gabbin' time for the list.

10. "The Informant!"
Matt Damon gives his funniest and maybe strongest performance as a whistleblower for a corn company. Steven Soderbergh's perfect direction and photography give the film this 70's cinema glow about it and the complex, twisty and engrossing screenplay never slows or bores. There's always something going on, even if at first glance you don't see it in this picture.

09. "Funny People"
Rarely can I find a movie about people treating each other like shit for two and half hours entertaining let alone funny, however Judd Apatow has crafted something weird and awesome; that makes it all work. I think it has to do with how fleashed out these characters are and how they make us buy into them. Adam Sandler makes up for another long stretch of shit movies and the reign of Rogen/Apatow/Mann comedic supremacy continues.

08. "Public Enemies"
Gangster flicks are a fun genre and 30's & 40's gangster flicks are sometimes even more fun because it's like the wild west, but with cars and tommy guns. Michael Mann is someone who knows crime and characters thus a story about John Dillinger is right up his alley. Mann's digital eye is at it's very best here as is his ability to pull great performances out of his actors. Depp and Cotillard being the two shinning examples that impressed me far more than I expected. Also FBI agent Stephen Lang... all kinds of badass.

07. "Avatar"
Hard pressed is it for a movie to live up to hype, let alone James Cameron created hype, but 'Avatar' does. It's an epic 3D sci-fi action picture that's not particularly an original concept (by Cameron's own admissions) but it's based off of classical science fiction literature that he grew up reading and got him interested in movies in the first place. This is one of those labor of love feeling movies too that despite his created hype isn't pretenious yet feels like a lot of it's creator is on screen. The animation is flawless and the action sequences are as exciting as anything I've seen all year. I'd say this was one of the more fun movie watching experiences I had this year.

06. "(500) Days of Summer"
A fantastic love story! Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel have terrific chemistry even during heated scenes and Marc Webb's direction was creative and fresh without becoming another pretenious indie romance with only a soul for blarring unsigned folk rock artists and displaying clothes you can get from Urban Outfitters. I loved this when I saw it and I still very much love it now.

05. "Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call, New Orleans"
Best Nic Cage performance in years and one of the best contemparary noir pictures I've seen this decade. Cage displays that manic side that he got famous for in Terrence, the junkie cop who's in deep with everyone from politcians to fellow cops to drug king pins and only getting in deeper. Something to remember while watching it though is that it's okay to laugh at the darkness and enjoy some outlandish drug induced rants throughout the film. In truth the film is a dark comedy hidden in a crime drama. Director Werner Herzog gives New Orleans the full foreboding noir treatment; every skyline shot feels like something bad is just around the corner... and often in the film that's the case.

04. "Fantastic Mr. Fox"
I now think that I can fully and bravely say this, "Fantastic Mr. Fox" is Wes Anderson's best film. The casting was perfect, the writing was brilliant and the stop motion animation was detailed to no end and looked great. There are dozens and dozens of moments in this film that made me burst out laughing as well as impress me for all it's maturity. Finally here is a kids film that hits all the right marks, doesn't talk down to kids and is really directed towards them as an audience. Remarkable work.

03. "District 9"
This one has ran up and down my list about a dozen times, but fact of the matter is this is one hell of a sci-fi picture. Impressivly made for around $30,000,000 you don't just get some highly impressive action sequences, but you get ideas. You get several holy shit moments, characters you actually care about and the best presentation of mockumentary filmmaking I've seen in a long time. This one has all the marks to become a sci-fi classic.

02. "A Serious Man"
Definitly one of the Coen brothers best comedies and best films to date. And this is really only a film they could have made. A dark comedy about a Jewish professor whose life is about to spin completely out of control in about every way it can. Michael Shulbarg is hilarious as this doomed man and the Coen's use of Jefferson Airplane throughout the entire film is almost a tell-tell sign of bad things to come. Furthermore the final scene of this movie is one of the best I may have ever seen. It sums up the tone and concept of the film in several grim and unpleasent ways and yet is somewhat funny still. It's really a Coen film to it's nitty gritty.

01. "Inglourious Basterds"
Quentin Tarantino's World War II. It's rare to see someone brave slings and arrows in name of creativity and entertainment anymore. To take such a risk as QT did with certain parts of this film and yet without those risks the film would've still been fantastic... but with those risks, it's a masterpiece. There are tons of larger than life feeling characters throughout the whole picture and yet all of them feel like had the war ended as it does in the film, all of these people feel like ones we could have read about in history books. It's funny, dark, dangerous and very original... everything we've come to expect and love about Tarantino films.

SPECIAL GENRE & PERFORMANCE PRIZES (top 10 excluded from these)

Best Sci-fi: Star Trek
Best Action: The International
Best Drama: Watchmen
Best Horror: (TIE) Drag Me to Hell & Paranormal Activity
Best Mystery or Thriller: The Box
Best Comedy: Duplicity
Best Underrated Performance: (TIE) Sam Rockwell-Moon & Jeffery Dean Morgan-Watchmen
Breakthrough Performance: Sasha Grey-The Girlfriend Experience
Best Score: The Arcade Fire & Owen Pallette-The Box
Best Effects: Star Trek
Best Ensemble: Star Trek
Best Film I Haven't Seen: The Hurt Locker
Biggest Suprise: Disney's A Christmas Carol

Sherlock Holmes review

I found something interesting last night as I was reading through my twitter messages. Apparently as of next summer with "Iron Man 2", Robert Downey Jr. will have had four films hit over one hundred million dollars and giving him probably the best actor come back of all time. Downey Jr. has been adding character after character to his rose gallery ever since he's returned and he can proudly add Sherlock Holmes to it now. Indeed it seems he was the man to play this part just as Jude Law was perfect for Dr. Watson. I will say that this film has three main things to not just like about it for me, but love about. The first two are them and the third is for all the big budget action moments and all the small seemingly uninteresting scenes, director Guy Ritchie STILL makes his style and tone present through it all. This is a dymanic looking and feeling movie. But not without it's draw backs.

On the scale of Robert Downey Jr. films most everyone goes ga-ga for "Iron Man". Hey it was a good movie. But I've never thought it as great as everyone else. Neither is this, but it's better. With the team of writers under Ritchie, the plot to the film is interesting and it's reveal is quite good, but it goes through so much complication that it sometimes feels that for all this guy's smarts, we should've come to this conclusion sooner. Furthermore Rachel McAdams and Mark Strong don't feel as strong character wise as Holmes and Watson and yes I know that they are supporting characters and what not, but one thing Ritchie is great at is handling a ton of characters throughout an overly complicated plot.

However even with those flaws there is so much to enjoy in "Sherlock Holmes" that they're never that big of an issue. The Holmes-Watson banter is great and their chemistry is perfect and Hans Zimmer delivers one of his best scores yet. I mean if nothing else, the score to this film is brillant to no end. McAdams is...welll... still as beautiful as ever and has some very fun moments in the film, but it never felt like she was given too many great lines or pieces in which we could enjoy her acting. Mark Strong has an equally annoying issue as the villian. Strong is an awesome actor and I feel like we're going to be seeing a lot of him in the future. As Lord Blackwood he's lines are very stationary villian and so his is general appearence. Although some of the stuff he does is pretty damn cool.

I think what's holding me back from loving the hell out of the movie is that it's a franchise starter and it's directed towards that sort of general action fans. Which isn't bad, but it means that a lot of it is pointed squarely at what they know people like. That's why the idea of a sequel gets me very excited because that's when you can take some risks and do things a bit differently. And have a feeling a sequel to this is gonna really knock it out of the part. So aside from my personal issues... "Sherlock Holmes" is very fun, smart and generally entertaining for everyone. It's got a great style and terrific actors at work within it. Definitly one of the better holiday films out.

"Sherlock Holmes" *** out of ****

Worst Films of 2009

10. "12 Rounds"
John Cena still can't act. Not even in the wonderful world of late 80's, early 90's styled action films where acting wasn't really an issue so long as things blew up on time and many bad men died. And if you're doing to steal the plot(s) from "Die Hard", at least try not to make it so boring.

09. "Hannah Montana: The Movie"
Not quite as annoying as I figured it would be, but enough to make this list. Boring, old and very much Disney live action styled.. which sometimes is boring and old feeling. Sure I'm not the demographic, but I wasn't the demographic for "High School Musical 3" either and I liked that.

08. "Tyler Perry's Madea Goes to Jail"
I loathe the Madea character more and more with each movie now. Perry needs a massive change of pace and soon. Sure this crap is making money, but after a while you've gotta look at other directors and writers and actors and think... damn... I could be doing so much more. Perhaps his appearance in "Star Trek" is his step in a brighter direction. At least I hope so. There's enough horribly unfunny comedies out there.

07. "X-Men Origins: Wolverine"
Awesome promo pics, pretty good trailers, rotten as shit movie. The CGI in this rivals only "The Day the Earth Stood Still" in crappiness and non-effects filled rest is mind-numbingly boring and uninspired.

06. "Saw VI"
It's "Saw VI", what else do you need to know?

05. "Year One"
Team Apatow takes a knock for this caveman comedy. Director Harold Ramis does as well. There's no characters in this film, only bored actors in bad wigs and rags and about one joke in thirty actually works.

04. "The Twilight Saga: New Moon"
Boring, seriously mentally challenged and only slightly better made than the first film. The fact that there's still a few more of these movies coming along makes be want to cry a bit. I don't think I can take one more constipated glance from Robert Pattinson.

03. "The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day"
Poorly done action is always something that bugs me. I feel like in this day and age it's not that difficult. But then again when your franchise is based off ripping off better crime and action films from the neck down, this is what you get.

02. "Couples Retreat"
Never again Vince Vaughn... never again.

01. "Terminator Salvation"
Being a hardcore "Terminator" fan this one hit me hardest. I mean really... how could you have fucked up so bad with this McG? How could you make Christian Bale, Common, Bryce Dallas Howard, Sam Worthington, Helena Bohan Carter, Moon Bloodgood and CGI Arnold suck so bad? Huh? It's the future war that's been discussed since the first film, the most epic display of post apocalyptic action and you decide along with the writers and producers of "Catwoman"... "CATWOMAN" for fucks sake... to make this drab looking turd that rips off "Mad Max", "Transformers" and "Children of Men". "Wall-E" was closer to "Terminator" than this bullshit.

Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call, New Orleans review

I love contemporary noir films. They hold such bold constructs and characters, have that kind of stark imagery that's foreboding and often show you much seedier places than the average crime picture. All these things are very true in Werner Herzog's "Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call, New Orleans" and more. The more being Nicolas Cage creating as kick ass a character as he did. This is the kind of thing he did when he was younger and the dollar signs of big budget adventure spectacles weren't dancing in his head. Hell this is the kind of stuff that got him his reputation and his Oscar. The last time I've been this impressed with him was probably in 2005 with "Lord of War" and "The Weatherman", but this is the type of character where his talents really shine. You see his character Terrence is a junkie. A bad junkie. A junkie cop.

After saving a jailed inmate during hurricane Katrina, he suffered an injury that would give him severe back pain for the rest of his life. He's prescribed painkillers, but after a year or so... well that just ain't enough. He moves on to cocaine.... then heroin and crack cocaine. He has it stolen by friends in the evidence room or he steals it from local youth and drug dealers. But he's not a bad cop. Well... not in the same sense has like Denzel Washington in "Training Day" or something. He does care about what's doing down in the city and he is very good at what he does. Despite all his problems (which he has tons and tons of), he still finds time to deal with issues involving the murder of an entire family in one of the poorer sections of the city. Everyone knows who's behind the murder, a local gangster named 'Big Fate' played by rapper Xzibit; who finally is in a good film AND actually shows that after all his shitty work he CAN in fact actor pretty well.

But perhaps that's credited to the strong writing here and the great character moments throughout the film. Eva Mendas plays Terrence's high class hooker girlfriend. Cage and Mendas' chemistry in "Ghost Rider" might not have worked, but here they conversations and interactions are very believable. They both care for one another as one junkie to another. Mendas plays it noir style, perhaps even more than the other actors. In those films the love interest didn't have much to do in the film and here honestly she doesn't have a ton to do either, but involvement in Terrence's life is important. Because the time spent together that they have displays a slightly more human side and loving side to both parties and by the end you see how that helps everyone. And I shant leave out Val Kilmer as one of the fellow officers, who's a bit more toned down then you'd expect this sort of role, but manages to impress in his few scenes.

Something to remember is that this is... in a sense a "remake" of Abel Ferrer's 1992 film "Bad Lieutenant" with Harvey Kietel. However it's only in remake in that they have similar titles and both involve drug addicted cops. The characters are very different and the tone of each film is very different. Herzog's film is really a dark comedy, noir pretending to be a simple crime drama. There's a lot of funny things in the film. I mean they even bring back the ole' Nic Cage flip out scene. You remember those right? Back in the 80's and 90's he had to have at least one scene where he completely flips out on someone for some reason. He's good at it. Last time he really had one of those was in "Matchstick Men". But here's is one of his very best ones. I don't really wanna spoil it, but explaining how a cop, high off his ass on coke, tired and stressed to no end, decides to break into a nursing home and cut off the oxygen to an old woman in order to get information from her nurse, then pull a 45. on the two women and begin screaming about how they're ruining the country well... it's funny either way.

The film has been in limited release for a little over a month now and perhaps it'll spread, but I'm guessing it won't be as wide as some of the other films coming along right now. This picture is gritty and cool in the best sort of ways. Every character has their subtleties and they over-the-top show off moments. Herzog takes chances with plot and visuals as often as he likes without making it look like a test movie and Cage reminds us why he got that Oscar. Perfection.

"Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call, New Orleans" **** out of ****

Avatar review

So over a decade after James Cameron blew the Oscars away with his epic story of romance in the face of doom in one of histories most memorable disasters, he follows up with a science fiction adventure, war story involving blue people. Was this really the best choice for him after such a massive achievement as "Titanic"? That's damn sure not for me to say. Cameron's work in the sci-fi genre has had echos well into our time. His designs, themes, style and technology has been used in everything from "Starship Troopers", "Halo" and "District 9" to "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button". He is the creator of Digital Domain, one of the best computer animating companies around. So him trumping up this whole 'movies will never be the same' business is pretty ballsy. I can't necessarily say movies will never be the same, but I can say that he's made a damn entertaining movie that does live up to his reputation and trademark style.

"Avatar" isn't the most original sci-fi movie to come along. Neither was Abrams' "Star Trek" and Jackon's "King Kong" and they were quite fantastic as well. What "Avatar" is, is Cameron's love of classic sci-fi adventures he read when he was younger (i.e. "Dune" and "John Carter of Mars"). What is pretty original and overall astounding is Pandora, the alien planet the film takes place on. It's not quite as gimmicky as Skull Island, but it's interesting in just how much eco-life was created for the film. It's great looking, but not really spacey. Cameron's inspiration for 90% of the creatures is based on deep water sea creatures that is his seen while diving. His thought is that as much as we sit down and try to think of how to make up creatures, Earth has dozens that are more bizarre and alien looking then whats in our imaginations.

Now we come to the Na'vi. Actually... lets first talk about the overall visuals. They're fucking fantastic. This is exactly what I'm talking about when it comes to look and style when it comes to CGI. The animation is far more detailed than any of the science fiction flicks this year and several action sequences using people falling, flying and what not look far less phony then what I've been seeing. This is aided by Cameron's strikingly non-gimmicky use of 3D. Sometimes it's in your face, but in the normal ways in which a good action film is made. The military designs are classic Cameron of "Aliens" and "Terminator", with huge flying machines with buttons and lights and tons of random shit, but the difference is that it all seems to have a purpose. There's something very matter of fact about the usage of his tech. The whole avatar program, led by Sigourney Weaver who plays the character like Ripley, had she become a doctor; is a simple brain connecting system.

Think what happens in "The Matrix" sort of. Sam Worthington's Jake Sulley is fun type of lead because he has a real motivation for coming into this project. He's a quick learner and he's got a mouth. He's fun to watch in human form or avatar form because of how fantasticly expressive Worthington is. At first he comes off a bit of a cardboard solider character, but after a while you get his true colors. On the flip side you've got Stephen Lang as the gung-ho Col. Quaritch. Quartich is a classic Cameron villian, the sense that he's ruthless, cunning and damn hard to kill. Then we have Zoe Saldana as Neytiri. Her job maybe was the best here because she had to be extremely expressive, emotional, had to learn a new language and fight. Saldana has been on a roll with a lot of high profile movies and she's been great jobs in them. She's well on her way to becoming a major name actress.

The backlash to this movie has been unworldly stupid. It's been like the whole Bond not Blond thing with Daniel Craig. The fact is the adventure movie genre is in pain and it's because of the lack of original ideas which is stemmed from the lack of respect those films are getting. With "Avatar" there is a hope that things might change. Scratch that, 2009 might change that. For the first time in a long time genre films like this one are getting major respect and even awards praise ("Avatar" has been nominated for Best Picture at the Golden Globes). It is a fantastic adventure film, fun and impressive from beginning to end and shows that Cameron can still make a great picture, even with being out of the game for so long.

"Avatar" **** out of ****

MY FAVORITE FILMS FROM 2000 TO 2009 vol. 3 (79 to 70)

79. "Borat: Cultural Learning for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan"
Tough call on where this lay on the list, but this felt right. Sascha Barron Cohen is one of the few continuously interesting and simultaneously daring comedians at work today. With his Borat character he lampooned the hell out of so many and exposed so many truths in American society that we attempt to keep hidden because it might ruin out image. And he made us laugh all along the way. The hope however was that we would laugh and think and somehow I doubt there was much thinking after the laughter had ended.

78. "Funny People"
The most mature of any of Judd Apatow's directed or produced works and for my money just one of the overall strongest. Adam Sandler proves that he can act for the first time since PTA's "Punch Drunk Love". Seth Rogen, Leslie Mann and a slew of supporting actors kill in scene after scene of serious humor, but also show some of the true colors in people. Rarely do I see a movie where people treat others like shit so throughout and like it, but somehow these characters make you care and make you like them despite all their flaws.

77. "Layer Cake"
Directed by Matthew Vaughn (producers of 'Snatch' and director of the upcoming 'Kick-Ass') and starring future Bond Daniel Craig, 'Layer Cake' is a great crime drama that's twisty and witty and filled with the hard boiled storytelling and images that we got in older British gangster pictures. Craig's Mr. X character thinks he smarter than he is and the main issue is that so does everyone else. But he's got a great plan and philosophy about getting out while you're on top. The key to this film though is that everything comes full circle one way or another and every character is involved far more than we think.

76. "Ratatouille"
Brad Bird is one of the best writer-directors of animated fair working. "Ratatouille" is one of those hard to categorize animated movies. It's not a drama or a comedy, but it's damn entertaining and smart. Patton Oswald voices Remy the lead rat that aspires to cook like the masters, but for the fact that he is a rat cannot. Oswald is a comedian, but also is great in dramatic works and is a HUGE film buff. This was a smart choice of a film to take on for him and you really get his wit and character traits through this CGI character. Beyond that it's a beautiful looking Paris and the color pallet is gorgeous.

75. "Lost in Translation"
The little engine that could, awkward indie dramedy by Sophia Coppola. Bill Murray gives one of his best performances and the chemistry between him and Scarlett Johansson is terrific. It's funny, but never too funny and it tells it's story more from visuals and implied emotion than with language which is the real point (hench the title in a way). The only real draw back is that it inspired dozens of imitators. Most simply fell into the pit of soul less, pretentious indie dramedies. But at least the original still stands quite tall.

74. "Ocean's Eleven"
Although for most of this list I picked the series, for this I picked only the first. It's not because I didn't like the sequels, but because I felt that first film was more important on various levels and that the sequels simply followed in suit and didn't add much more than further character quirks. Steven Soderbergh might be my favorite director of the past ten years and it's because he lovingly brings us so many diverse and interesting pictures. His remake of the Rat Pack film with the ridiculously cool cast it boasts has kick started the crime caper genre again and has helped pump out tons and tons of movies wanting to be compared to this one. But no one is as cool as Clooney, Pitt and Damon. No one plays of strong and hurt as well as Roberts and few caper villians quite get into the grooves of being smart, ruthless and pissed as well as Garcia.

73. "Hot Fuzz"
Yes it's far above "Shaun of the Dead". For my money the experience coupled with the film was far more satisfying and fun. "Hot Fuzz" becomes it's own awesome buddy action, comedy while paying homage to dozens and dozens of other ones and doing it so perfectly. Simon Pegg and Nick Frost proved their bromance wasn't a fluke and Edgar Wright showed off his skills at crafting actions sequences that were both exciting and hilarious.

72. "The Fountain"*
A massively underrated science fiction drama!! Darren Aronofsky's beautiful and emotional work of art just couldn't find its way to the mass public. It was pushed back, had different productions entirely and got released on Thanksgivng 2006 along side four other, much bigger and more accessible films. However looking at it today it strikes me in a similar way as Ridley Scott's "Blade Runner". Even if you don't like the tone or the story, the visuals are so stunning and the score by Clint Mansell is so mind blowing that it commands your attention. If you've never seen this film, now is a great time to look into it.

71. "Signs"
M. Night Shyamalan's last major success without a 'but' in someone talking about it. Being a fan of the paranormal, a story like this grabs me from minute one, but what keeps me is if the tone and the pacing work. Shyamalan is terrific with those two particular items, however let's not take any praise from Mel Gibson and Joaquin Phoenix who are trapped in this bizarre world of mystery and water fearing aliens and do great at reacting and coping. Does it have airs of pretentiousness? Sure does. But if it works, it works and 'Signs' is as effective a science fiction thriller as many of old greats. "The Fourth Kind" could have learned something from this.

70. "Spartan"
Unrelated to "300" mind you, but does involve a spartan concept. David Mamet wrote and directed this tense and highly intelligent thriller about the kidnapping of the presidents daughter and the lone soldier played by Val Kilmer sent to find her and bring down those responsible. Kilmer has had a couple of fine roles in the last tens years, but all have been in small films like this one. Derek Luke is great as well as a soldier that somewhat trained under Kilmer. He's flawed and new, but he's far from stupid. A couple of Mamet's usual suspects make appearances like Ed O'Neil and William H. Macy and you will also see a younger Kristen Bell as the kidnapped first daughter.

*film picture at the top of blog

The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day review

I've been trying to figure out nice ways of expressing all that I feel about this film, it's predecessor and it's fan base, and I've come to the conclusion that I can't find a really nice way of doing it. It's like talking about "Saw" or "Twilight" and their fans kind of. Okay... maybe that's a little harsh, but then again a lot of their fans can be dickish to non-saints lovers so they've got this coming.

Why are they so loyal to these cheap, imitations of good crime action films? Maybe it's the whole 'anyone could make this movie' look to it that's inspiring? Maybe not enough of their fans have seen the movies these are ripping off (sometimes blatantly ripping off) or seen any actually good movies in this genre. Maybe they've just got bad taste? Nah... many of them are Tarantino fans as well so that can't be it I guess. Hell, maybe it's just an Irish and Catholic thing. Whatever the case, because of said fans writer-director Troy Duffy has created a second and possibly soon... a third one of these pictures. Good news is that I don't think this is has smelly, reeking and pretentious of a rip off as the first one. But it still sucks a lot.

Norman Reedus and Sean Patrick Flanery return as the two hitmen/vigilantes/cursin' Irish brothers MacManus (name taken from "The Usual Suspects"). The boys along with their father, an older hitman played by Billy Connolly; a character which seems to serve very little purpose except to add another story to the movie and give a "Righteous Kill" worthy twist at the end. They all live together back in Ireland and are called back into the seedy underbelly of Boston after the murder of a priest by someone pretending to be the boys. This piece of the story and the prep in a lift from dozens of hiding persons movies as a way to draw them out of hiding. The aforementioned prep is a lame version of Karl Urban's character from 'The Bourne Supremacy'... who just happens to have done the EXACT SAME THING in that movie. But wait it's different here because this guy is Spanish or Italian but looks Spanish. Anyways this brings in fill-in-character Special Agent Bloom played by Julie Benz to replace the over acting, over characterized motor mouth gay cop Williem Dafoe played in the first film.

I liked Benz in most of her movies although she has been on a weird rift of doing corny ass accents. Here though her southern accent is as ear bleedingly bad as some of the dialogue in the movie. Furthermore Duffy does several of the same types of shots and sequences as he did with Dafoe, but with Benz smiling seductively and looking at the camera. And apparently every cop... scratch that every man is so dumb in Boston or rather in this movie's version of Boston that no one asks why the fuck she's staring off at the wall all the time and walking that way. Apparently because all the blood from their brains have shot to their dicks, but after six of these scenes you've gotta let it go. But hey... who said this was serious? It's supposed to be a fun, action movie so who needs logic? Well maybe if the action wasn't so crappy it could play that card.

Sorry, but two guys with two desert eagles sliding in slow motion, killing a room full of people with a few drip-drips of blood doesn't cut it. Not in a world where John Woo could do these scenes with ten times that amount of carnage with less money, resources and time. And he did... over two decades ago! These brothers aren't badass either, they're just supped of versions of Duffy's drinking buddies mixed with shallow interpretations of characters from 'Pulp Fiction' and 'Reservoir Dogs'. Shit Benz even has a line stolen from 'Manhunter'! Every action scene in this film has been done and yet still people are going ga-ga over it!

So now I come to the qusi-social commentary which begs the question of are these boys heroes or villains. My thoughts... who the fuck cares?! They both could have bit it in the first twenty minutes and I wouldn't have cared. They lifeless drones walking around trying to talk tough and walk tough in dozens of pointless, stupid and boring scenes with talking, shitty jokes that might have been funny when I was in 8th grade and piss poor shoot-outs. And I'm not someone to be easily bored. Did Harvey Keitel try to be badass in 'Bad Lieutenant'? FUCK NO! He just was. Hell even Paul Walker in 'Running Scared', he succeeded in being a badass in a world of complete and utter shitty chaos. This isn't Scorsese's Boston. There's no fear of being chopped up and feed to the poor. These gangsters are as weak as their punishers and with worst aim than the Russians in 'Rambo III'.

So I'll end this nicely. I feel like I've gotten about as much spite and hell fire out of my lungs and mind as I can. I want to give fans of these film the same treatment I give fans of 'Saw'. Obviously you have an interest in these sort of characters and movies. That's great and wonderful and such, BUT you need to see the light... by seeing some stuff that doesn't suck and isn't wasting your time... I know right now you don't believe me and you think I'm full of shit, but I assure you I know what I'm talking about. There's millions of great, badass, action films that have everything you need and more, but you've gotta get outside and find them first. Never seen old school Scorsese? This is as good a time as any. Missed out on 'Natural Born Killers' or 'The Long Kiss Goodnight'? See em'. Ever heard of 'The King of New York' or either version of 'Bad Lieutenant'? No? Get on Netflix pronto.

"The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day" * out of ****

MY FAVORITE FILMS FROM 2000 TO 2009 vol. 2 (89 to 80)

89. "Big Fish"
I've never been ga-ga over Tim Burton and he's definitely a filmmaker I grew up watching... and I'm a sucker for my own nostalgia. However in his entire career I'd say he has three to four perfect or near perfect films. "Big Fish" for me is one of them and has the strange effect of working best while watching it. When I think about the film I never feel that it's as great as I feel when watching it. Ewan McGreggor provides one of his best performances and Burton recaptures much of the magic he had in his younger days. It's a beautiful, funny and original film that deserved more acclaim then it got.

88. "Monster House"
I remember seeing this after a horrible day at work. I walked down to the theater and on a whim bought a ticket to this. I'd seen a billion trailers and heard a billion great things about it, but still even it's producers being as high quality as Spielberg and Zemeckis, I still wasn't looking for much. Damn was I wrong. Some how, some way "Monster House" wasn't just some run of the mill kids flick, but instead an almost Sam Raimi-sque horror-comedy for kids. The motion capture was a bit herky-jerky at times, but the animation was wonderful and I love, love, LOVE this entire final act when it almost seems like we're not watching CGI, but full on puppets moving. Also the designs of the ever changing monster house are stupendous.

87. "Transformers"
Gotta give the devil his due. I'm not a Bay-hater oddly enough. Sure he's not much for enhanced character development and yes he tends to play into stereotypes a lot (although he's not alone in that), but the man knows spectacle and sometimes (like in the case of "Bad Boys", "The Rock" and "The Island") he can get it down well enough for it to not be (at best) a guilty pleasure action film like the others. With "Transformers' however I felt he made a good blend of himself mixed with what a general audience of youngsters and older people would want to see in a sci-fi action flick. The film blew up the careers of Shia LaBeouf and of course Megan Fox. Aside from them he managed to turn a toy franchise and mediocre cartoon series, into a full blown entertaining ride with bits of badassness tossed into the mix.

86. "Grindhouse"
Such a sad event. I wish that the more people had experienced this in theaters, the way it was meant to be. I wish people could have seen ALL the fake trailers and little ads connecting Rodriguez's "Planet Terror" and Tarantino's "Death Proof". But more did discover the two films on DVD and I guess got the idea. Happily enough the dynamic duo's homages to B thru D quality movies of the 70's and 80's have become a cult success and it's style has caught on a bit more than I thought it would so it's not all bad. Plus in April we'll get a new installment co-directed by Robert Rodriguez... "Machete".

85. "Pineapple Express"
Definitely a film that has gotten only stronger with time and it's because of how clever it really is. Seth Rogen and James Franco are a comedy match made in heaven, something Judd Apatow has known for years. However I've gotta say that Danny McBride and Craig Robinson make me laugh a bit more. In any case to have weed film morph into an action flick the way it did while still being funny was no easy task and yet it accomplishes it better than 95% of buddy action, comedies.

84. "The Weatherman"*
One reason why no matter how many half-assed adventure movies that don't work Nicolas Cage does I still like him, is because he'll still turn and do a movie like this (like Samuel L. Jackson and Christopher Walken). In 2005 actually had two terrific films, one was this and the other was "Lord of War", a black comedy about war lords. I chose this one because his performance and the overall him have stuck with me longer. Directed by Gore Verbinski ('The Ring' and 'Pirates of the Caribbean' 1-3), it's a very funny dramedy about a Chicago weatherman and the dysfunctions of his relationship with his ex-wife, her new husband, he successful father played by Michael Caine and his two kids; plus his attempts to get a nation wide weatherman job and get them all liking and respecting him again. What I've come to love about the film (aside from the photography, the subtle humor and Hans Zimmer's wonderfully original score) is just how true of a film it is. Everything in it is based in our world and can and would probably unfold as it did. Rather than make a wholly depressing movie about someones several attempts to achieve a far-fetched dream, it merely shows these things and life as humorous, somewhat sad, but not completely unrewarding.

83. "Watchmen"
The filmed, unfilmable graphic novel. I've come to realize that in certain groups (i.e. the ones that read the book) there is a divide on the film and it's based on how well you liked the book. If you loved the book, then you'll probably say you were disappointed in the film, although it kept dangerously close to the source material. If you're like me however then you might think a bit differently. The book is terrific and a classic for a reason. However it's not flawless and neither is the movie, but it's important. I'd rather have had Snyder be himself and create a film as a filmmaker and fan, than to have had just anybody come on, read the book and then shoot whatever they feel like works. There is stunning images and great, gritty moments throughout the film, but it's more a character drama then anything. Something fans have seemed to notice and have helped raise the films cult status. Jackie Earle Harley's Rorschach has become an even more beloved character than he was, Silk Spectre II (well... and the original Silk Spectre... I mean c'mon Carla Gugino is hot too) have been more oggeled over than before and the Comedian's satirical attitude to the world has reached a much boarder audience than ever before.

82. "Harry Potter" (series)
You can't discuss the past ten years in film or literature without bringing up Harry Potter. Those books have helped divine a generation in ways that shit like 'Twilight' will never do (God willing) and cinema wise, set the bar for children's fantasy adventure. Now this is a blanket pick spanning six films and if you know me then you know that I'm not crazy about all six. Personally the best ones to me are three and four. I love them because they feel like complete, original and engrossing packages. The first two haven't aged particularly well, but their magic and creative spark is definitely there. As for the last two... well... they're just not 'wow' inducing. Perhaps you'll get a cool scene once in a while, but I feel like the Yates films look terrific and dark and brooding, but add nothing emotionally, dramatically or thematically. They feel more like slightly altered readings of the books set to dark photographs. I'm not impressed in the slightest bit by the new trailer, but I do hope this two part finale saves the franchise from mediocrity.

81. "Catch Me If You Can"
Truly a great tale told in great ways. Steven Spielberg is a master of tone and mood; that's probably why I like him so much. "Catch Me If You Can" works so well because it's a real life cat and mouse story that draws you in more and more with each scene. This one of the films that brought Leonardo DiCaprio back to the foreground in films and it was great work. Equally fun to watch was Tom Hanks as the FBI agent on his trail. Going back you'll also see one of Christopher Walken's best roles and two fantastic extended cameos by Jennifer Garner and Amy Adams. Also if you haven't read the book, you really need to.

80. "Jarhead"
I love Sam Mendes films. The man is a true artist to the core and "Jarhead" is one of his unsung masterworks. Jake Gyllenhaal and Peter Saarsgard provide amazing performances that were award worthy, but overlooked. "Jarhead", like most non-flag waving war films was met with tons of controversy; mainly because of the unfavorable war in the middle east we were in, but also because of it's dark sided few of the soldiers who get wrapped too tight and made too paranoid. However a lot of times we must look at the ticking-time bombs we turn human beings into in the military. We should question certain methods and figure out what is the best way to handle these men and women. The film nor the book offer any answers, but simply tell the story and with great detail and images. Also I can't forget how true and enduring Jamie Foxx is in the film.

* film pictured at the top of post

Disney's A Christmas Carol review

Perhaps the biggest surprise to me this fall was this. I've always been lukewarm when it came to Robert Zemeckis' animated pictures. The man has done some fantastic things technically and most of the 3D and motion capture effects that are used in film, tv and video games came from him and his studio. However "The Polar Express" was a bit dull and dry and the characters were too much polished zombie for me. "Beowulf" was a letdown. Partially because I expected something more and partially because the 3D wasn't that strong. So I didn't walk into expecting much. And even with that, I still think this is his best animated feature to date and a perfect 3D film.

First off the graphics and animation are superb. Dozens and dozens of shots look more real and animated and the 3D is far stronger than any of the 3D films I've seen yet. Second is that Zemeckis also wrote the screenplay. He's a talented director, but he's an extremely talented writer. Here he doesn't make this a kiddie Scrooge. No... instead he takes his version into a darkness. A darkness and doom that Scrooge is supposed to feel throughout all three haunting, not just the final one. Jim Carrey also plays Scrooge much more dramatically then comically. In fact you could count the funny moments on one hand. His face is used for all the characters he plays, but finding like his voice they're all transformed in certain ways. Zemeckis keeps him wizzing through the world camera approach, but it's the quiet and still moments that work best. Hell there are even times he aims to be scary and jar the audience a little bit.

The only two problems I have are mild, but they exist. The final haunting and the added chase scene goes on a bit too long and messes with the perfect pacing it had. The film isn't particularly long, but that really stretched it out. And the second... well... it's the film itself in a way. There was such an amazing job done on this film... I mean for my money it's one of the best animated film of the year, far better than "Up". But if only that tech could've gone into a story when haven't heard and seen a billion times. I'm pretty sure this and "Dracula" are the most remade stories in history, however this is one that we see a new version of every year just about. It's nit picky, but I wish instead this could've gone into a fresh new Zemeckis story. However... for it to be a Scrooge story it is fantastic and near perfect. And at least now we can look forward to Zemeckis keeping his promise and bringing us a new "Roger Rabbit" film. Now that's exciting.

"Disney's A Christmas Carol" *** 1/2 out of ****

Ninja Assassin review

I'm not one of those people who've jumped on the meem band wagon about zombies or ninjas or any of that crap. Generally I love kung-fu genre pictures and most of the ones we get now in American are either rather mediocre Asian ones of DVD or more kid friendly ones in theaters. But enter a rag tag film making force... James McTeigue (director of "V for Vendetta" and second unit director of 'The Matrix" trilogy and "Speed Racer"), legendary producer Joel Silver along with the Wachowski brothers and co-writer J. Michael Straczynski; writer of "Changeling". Their plan, to make an A-movie out of a B-movie premise. Said premise is that ninja still exist and have been operating and carrying out assassinations for centuries. Now two Europol agents are getting too close and one rogue ninja seeks to protect them and kill his former master.

That's about as B-movie as it gets and no this never becomes an A-movie sadly enough. However it does accomplish being a very fun and entertaining B-movie that belongs on a list of modern grindhouse films. Korean pop star and co-star of "Speed Racer" Rain plays Raizo, the rogue ninja that disobeyed his clan and is trying to track them down to finish them all off. Naomie Harris ('Miami Vice' and '28 Days Later') plays Mika, the agent Raizo is protecting because as crazy as she sounds, she has indeed figured out what's going on. And what is going on? Well the film's got holes. Lots of holes. So they do their damnedest to film them up with blood... a lot of blood.

Personally I've never been big on CGI blood. Scorsese and Fincher are two of the few that have used it well in their recent films, but in major action fair it doesn't look as well as it should. So congratulations McTeigue and company for actually making it work. The need for it in some films makes sense. By doing it with computers you're able to save set up and clean up time and take as many shots as you need. It saves times, man power and money For "Ninja Assassin" however I imagine the clean up would've been the biggest issue. There's more blood squirting here than in "Kill Bill" and if a take when wrong, it seems like it would take hours and hours to get it all clean up for the second take. A lot attention is put into th CGI blood, so it looks good. Not amazing, but good. What really aids however is the pick-up scenes with real blood soaked into the hands of the killer and splashed across the walls.

There are multiple sequences of highly kinetic action set pieces that are over the top and ridiculous, but so joyfully created that you can't help but enjoy the ride. Ever seen ninjas fight an army of well armed soldiers? No? Well now's your chance! I've noticed that a lot of the over the top films of 2009 have gone either unnoticed or simply unloved. Something I find sad. People in the news world and magazine world bitch and moan about getting these kinds of films; then they complain that they're stupid. So others get made that have the action take a back seat to characters and story. Where realism over takes myth, so they say it's disappointing and boring. And the worst part is that the public is starting to listen to that. They'll talk smack about a film like 'Crank: High Voltage' because it didn't make a ton of money (however it did do well), but despite how terrible a film "New Moon" is they'll never lay into it too hard because it's made a boat load of cash. Perhaps it's just me, but I don't want crazy idea, genre pictures to die in favor of softer, tween age re imaginings of those ideas.

"Ninja Assassin" *** out of ****

The Men Who Stare At Goats & Planet 51 mini reviews

"The Men Who Stare At Goats" *** out of ****

A prime example of just an overall great story. I've never read, but I have heard of the book and the bizarre stated to be true story of the Army's push for a new type of solider. In the past things like Remote Viewing research has been released by the government, so it is indeed possible that this story is fact. George Clooney plays yet another great character, Lynn who is one of the best psychic soldiers to have existed and Ewan McGregor plays the reporter in the middle east searching for a story and finding Lynn. The two men's exploits are funny, but sometimes go on a bit too long and a lot of times their material is upstaged by the flashbacks ofthe 70's with Jeff Bridges Kevin Spacey and Clooney's characters. This was the directorial debut of actor/writer/producer Grant Henslov ("Good Night, and Good Luck") and it's a good jumping point. I will say there is one scene that is perhaps one of the funniest things I've seen all year, but it's not one that you would expect. Probably why it was so funny.

"Planet 51" ** out of ****

This is an example of a harmless kids film that had it been properly done could've been great, but instead takes all the easy roads and fails. Dwayne Johnson, Justin Long, Gary Oldman and Jessica Biel voice the characters in the 50's, B-movie, science fiction styled film. About ten minutes into the movie I came to the conclusion that this was from the same makers of "Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius", a animated film I actually hated (and still kinda do). "Planet 51" isn't that bad, but it's flat and simple minded. Kids might like it, but parents are likely to be bored with it.

Armored review

I feel like there's a cut of "Armored" that really nails it. I mean hits the exact right notes. The film isn't bad, it's just too much of a mixed bag to fully like. Here's my case... director Nimrod Antal (who recently a nice new job directing "Predators" for Robert Rodriguez and FOX) has a great eye for styles and and even better ability of how to use them without making an exploitation flick. "Armored" is 90's caper film, with the darkened style of 70's John Carpenter action. I say 90's caper because now almost all caper films are formed off of the "Ocean's 11" format so they attempt to be as super cool. In the 90's you had things like this. Little action, lots of talk and often sequences that were good, but then were followed by one's that weren't balanced.

Screen Gems' child Columbus Short ("Quarantine" and "This Christmas") is the green lead as Ty Hackett, a former Iraq solider that came home after his parent death. He now takes care of his troubled teenage brother and works at the same security job as his father. Matt Dillon is Mike, Ty's godfather and co-worker. Mike is shady, but in his own way means well. He cares about Ty, but he has other plans... like the robbery. The rest of the team is equally filled out with 90's era badasses. Which for me was geekily cool, not unlike the three heads of the police squad in "Planet Terror". Laurence Fishburne is the crude and ill-mannered Baines, Jean 'The Professional' Reno is Quinn, Skeet Ulrich is almost unrecognizable as the grungy Dobbs and yeah for fun why not had Fred Ward as their chief. The crew dynamic is good and their conversations, though slanted towards a certain mindset, do serve the picture well.

Here's where I do start to wonder things though. As the robbery begins it seemed that certain pieces weren't edited right. Like it had been cut up too much and was making some bits tough to follow. Other times you get the drift, but some characters action might take them from zero to sixty in a second without much mid time for us to notice. And then the music. Of all the composer I'm shocked to learn that John Murphy, someone whose music I've always gone ga-ga over, made this over roasted hollywood generalized junk. And I say this because there's times where the music fucks the scene up. The MUSIC for crying out loud! But hey I'm not a hard person to please. Thus the mixed bag situation... there is some good.

Antal likes to leave characters roaming and show us that. Show us some downtime or leave a scene going a little longer. At times this makes for great suspense. In fact there is a really well done scene involved Skeet Ulrich trying to help Short's character by getting some engine parts for him. Also the little action in the film is pretty damn good. I enjoyed the lumbering armored truck chase and I have to say the ending crash was pretty nice looking. Also there are some surprisingly R-rated gun shots in the film as well. Which leads me to wonder did the films rating get bumped down when it got moved from a summer release to a winter release. Along with that is this brisk 88 minute film the actual whole product or simply something before we get an unrated director's cut? I actually hope so. I hope so because this is the kind of picture that I call a popcorn film and I wish I could say this one really is, but it's not fluid enough. And it's not quite fun enough.

I love this crew. Fishburne is an asshole, Quinn is the quiet, smart man and Dillon is the head badass. If there's nothing else going on, they just point the camera at him and you get the great concern looks from him. It's formulaic at times, but not gimmicky and it adds up. In fact I'm surprised I've liked it as much as I have, but really there needs to be a longer cut that would make the film work and some different music.

"Armored" ** 1/2 out of ****

MY FAVORITE FILMS FROM 2000 TO 2009 vol. 1 (100 to 90)

This is the complete and "final" list I will make. Sadly this is one of those things where the longer you wait and see things, the more revisions and edits you make and in the end you're not convinced that the list is what you truly feel. This has been my first REAL decade of movie watching where I truly looking for style, substance and all that other jazz in film and got to experience some great, great things. There will be ten posts for this done throughout december and split between reviews (I've got one for "The Men Who Stare At Goats" coming up soon). By the way the 'rough cut' list I posted a few weeks ago... is pretty chopped up so I'll probably take it down soon. Any ways... enjoy the list(s)!

100. "Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story"
This is the first of many team Apatow flicks on the list. Really this is such a brilliant spoof film and a brilliant music picture rolled into one. A big thing that helped me add this to the list was re-watching the director's cut, which I love far more than the theatrical version. It's fully re-cut and uses more jokes, that flow better and involve a lot more character interaction. John C. Reilly has done tons and tons and TONS of amazing character roles, but somehow or another for me I think Dewey Cox will remain a staple because of just how outlandish and yet firmly grounded in the farce he is in the film. And I just can't express how great Jenna Fischer of "The Office" does as well. She' knows how to play sexy and stupid funny without going too over the top or too long to destroy the humor. Oh and less we forget the millions of supporting roles from Frankie Muniz to Jack White to... well Jack Black.

99. "Training Day"
The film in which Denzel Washington won his second Oscar, but first Best Actor Oscar. Director Antoine Fuqua knows grit. The man simply has the eye for it and this is a gritty as shit crime drama. Not to be outdone Ethan Hawke also reminds us that, hey I can act too; and plays a role that could have easily become prime second banana to Denzel, but instead takes the film into full rogue ghetto badass territory in the final act. Oh yeah and Dr. Dre was in it too. That's just a nice bonus though.

98. "One Hour Photo"
Prime example of Robin Williams' acting talent. This film is unnerving to no end. I mean really... take one look at Williams with bleach blond hair, standing with a plastic smile behind the counter of the impossibly white store he works in and tell me the man doesn't strike you as a ticking time bomb. And yet there is so much restraint in this film. The final act could go in a thousand different, much darker directions and yet it doesn't. Whether it's a flaw or not is debatable, but regardless the final decision of what happens is bizarre and endless interesting.

97. "Body of Lies"
I've learned that most Ridley Scott films need a few viewings to really take in. Some don't. Some are instantly awesome and entertaining and you've got the point so you're done. However the some of the best ones ask to you see and re-see things and catch a whole other world. "Body of Lies" came out last October, I reviewed it and liked it but not much more than that. Recently I gave it probably... my third watch and this time I felt like I got it. The film is complex... I mean complex to where you'd need a scorecard to figure out who's working for who and what their real motives are. And yet that is the nature of spying. The world of a modern spy is dirty and complicated and often unfair. Leonardo DiCaprio's Agent Ferris character is so hard boiled and tired of being ignored and screwed over by his boss Hoffman (Russell Crowe) that it's no wonder he leaves the way he does in the end. On a side note Mark Strong plays an excellent middle easterner.

96. "Pirates of the Caribbean" (trilogy)
Here's one for the pop crowd. Here's an entire franchise that has re-launched adventure films for years because it proved that pirate movies could sell. And that's because Jerry Bruckheimer and Disney are very smart. Johnny Depp was re-born to a new audience and a character that was easily entertaining was born. And the best part was that no one thought it would be even a fraction of as popular as it became so it was kind of a sleeper success. But I'll say it, I like em'. They're not perfect by any means, but they're fun escapism that tires and succeeds most of the time. It's epic adventure in B-movie style and I can respect that.

95. "300"
Turned Zack Snyder from the guy who remade "Dawn of the Dead" (which I also liked) into the new God of action. Okay 'God' is a bit strong, but the meatheads of the world grabbed this film by the balls and placed it on a golden altar. And as much as I hate that, that's happened I do still love the film. It's original and brooding with qusi-gay undertones due to all the dudeness all hangin' out, but hey... that was a different time. Snyder helped redefine and reuse slow motion camera techniques and the special effects crew and technical crews did wonders. "300" is just one of those uber popular films that for years to come will be mentioned for it's style and action and hopefully it's artistry.

94. "The Devil's Rejects"
As is stands this was Rob Zombie's cinematic peak. I hate "House of 1000 Corpses" and had no plans to watch the sequel, until this strange flow of good word of mouth kept coming in so I gave it a shot. "The Devil's Rejects" is a truly down and dirty 70's movie. Zombie directed those scenes at times like a voyeur and at times like Billy Badass blowing the shit out of everything on screen. He made the Firefly family actually interesting to be around and gave them one hell of a send off.

93. "Shaun of the Dead"
Edgar Wright's second best film of the 2000's. The man knows comedy and his teaming with producer Nira Park and actor/ writers Simon Pegg and Nick Frost just fits like a glove. The only streak I have against "Shaun..." is that is seemed to open the flood gates to a million and one different comedies that involved zombies. The difference was most of those either didn't know how to manage horror and comedy or didn't care. Luckily Wright and team DO know and DO care and even know how to deliver some great homages to other films without making it too obvious or distracting. You'll see this gang again on my list.

92. "Cast Away"
Tom Hanks is great actor and for my money you can't beat him in "Cast Away" without a fight. He loss a ton of weight and for a two and a half hour movie talked to a volleyball. And made us give a damn... no easy feet. Beyond that it was Robert Zemeckis' last live action film to date and his best since his Oscar winning "Forrest Gump". The technical aspect and scouting for this picture is perfect and there are a ton of magnificent images that stick out every time I watch it.

91. "Blood Diamond"
Here's a conflicting piece. Director Edward Zwick is one of the best people to direct dramas with action. This is because he gets some killer performances from actors by letting them take chances and have some fun and because he is a top notch action director. The conflict occurs during some scenes of stunning violence that are unpleasant and yet shot in such an exhilarating fashion. Dicaprio's accent is still a point of question. Mainly why was it needed, but it goes back to that taking chances and having fun. Personality I don't care about a flimsy voice or something if the character is good. I've actually met people with hardcore accents that I often think they're faking, but who am I to question them. His Archer character is badass and badass in the way that Dicaprio can play em'. But it is Djimon Hounsou who sticks out the most and provides a stellar performance as an African native who finds one of the blood diamonds after beging enslaved and having his son taken from him and put into the brainwashing camps. This was a huge dramatic and emotional action picture with one bang up final act. This is how these pictures should be made.

90. Return to "The Matrix" (Reloaded and Revolutions)
My personal wildcard. I hold the two sequels higher than the original for these reasons; 1: because the true nature of this series becomes known, 2: because less people accept them so I feel better and better about liking them, 3: conceptual designs and ideas about religion that are about as cyber punk as it gets and 4:... I really dug visuals this time around. I'm sorry, but I'm sucker for certain things of the science fiction world. Mainly I'm a sucker for trying something different and for some reason ones that are seen publicly as failures, I tend to like. I'm not sure if it's out of some want to go against the grain, but I feel like I'm just attracted to it's ideas more because they're different and those type of things in the past are usually shunned needlessly. The Wachowski brothers furthermore seem to know what they have, understand the flaws and love it anyway. Love it enough to have a DVD commentary for critics that hated the movies added to the trilogy box set collection. Now that's a love of ones work coupled with an understanding of differing opinions that I aspire to reach.

Fantastic Mr. Fox review

This is what I've been looking for this year. Generally this is what I look for every year actually. Kids films that aren't dumbed down and take easy roads to get to simple and easy conclusions. At the same the ones that don't do that (i.e. 99% of Pixar films) I still try to find something more spirited in them. I've learned that with Pixar and some other animated films that it's as much about the director and writers as it is with any film. For example Brad Bird's two Pixar creations "The Incredibles" and "Ratatouille" have almost exactly what I look for in those sort of movies. Their smart and funny and don't fall prey to idiotic topical jokes. The same is to be said of "Fantastic Mr. Fox" which more than lives up to it's name.

Director Wes Anderson very much put himself into this animated tale that uses little to no CGI and is done in good ole' stop motion animation. Meaning this 93 minute film took a few years to complete just half of it. For it's meat it gives you the story of Mr. Fox (George Clooney) and his family and friends (the other animals in the forest). Mr. Fox is a retired chicken thief who against the advice of his badger lawyer (Bill Murray) buys a tree just on the outskirts of three mean and ugly farmers, Boggis, Bunce and Bean. Mr. Fox decided however to come out of retirement for one last score with his new superintendent Kylie (Wally Wolodarsky). After his score keeps getting bigger and bigger and his wife (Meryl Streep) finds out and grills him for it, the three villains team up to hunt down and kill him and all the other creatures without mercy.

There you have it. There's a kids film with meat... real meat. It's spiced up with just how interesting and funny all these characters are. Ash (Jason Swartzman) is Mr. Fox's son (I'd say he's about 13 years old) who desperately wants to be thought of as an athlete, something that gets difficult after the arrival of Kristopherson (Eric Anderson). Kristopherson is his cousin and in many ways is what Ash wants to be. Thus he treats him like crap most of the time. What's funniest about Ash is just how he's portrayed and how accurate it really is real children. He complains, tries to find excuses out of things and most importantly acts and speaks without thinking of the repercussions. He also spits a lot which I found funny because growing up ALL guys spit like crazy around that age. As for Clooney as Mr. Fox... well who better really? The man has some of the best comedic timing and droll mannerism that's slink through to his character perfectly. It's no wonder why he's as acclaimed an actor as he is, just like Streep and just like Williem Dafoe who plays a security guard rat for Bean. Then there's the trillion other characters that all have their brief moments to shine and make you at the bare minimum smile.

Anderson co-wrote the screenplay with Noah Baumbach (as usual cohort in Anderson's pictures) and it's very much their way of storytelling. In fact the only thing I didn't see that's a staple of Wes Anderson's films is a slow motion walk by sequence. Would've been interesting though... it really would've been. So now I come to the biggest question which is what is it's cultural significance. I ask this because in a lot of good kids films they're here one minute and gone the next leaving a pile of merchandise in it's wake and nothing else. Then there are the few upper crust kids films like Spike Jonze's "Where the Wild Things Are",which is what I'll be comparing this with. My review stands from October still stand for how I feel about that film. I honestly feel no better or worse about the film and it still is good, but emotionally empty. "Fantastic Mr. Fox" is in a sense what I wanted with 'WTWTA'. It has emotion and humor and intelligence. 'Wild Things...' was packed with split ideas and thus split emotions that were meaningful yet lacked real meaning sometimes as a child would be emotional and not always have a solid reason. That worked against it for me and while loved the ending piece it still left me empy. "Fantastic Mr. Fox" on the flip side has it's emotional quality, but it doesn't wear it on it's sleeve. These tiny characters tell stories about love, responsibility, family, growing up and it's done so in Anderson's classic view of people and interactions that's only slightly more hyper than it really is. These things allow kids to see it and grow with it so that they get the jokes they used love are still there, but then they find other things funny as well and see the meanings. To a certain extent I feel like 'Wild Things...' tried to have a lot of meaning and it fell flat or perhaps it was the dreaded spinning plate issue and Jonze couldn't keep them all going by the end.

Either way it's a good film, but I found "Fantastic Mr. Fox" to be great. It's great looking, feeling and flowing. It's funny and intelligent and funny in it's own intelligence and sometimes purposeful lack of intelligence ("I'm getting a high frequency radio signal through a can!" one character says during the big final rescue mission). The sad thing is that as great as this is, I just don't feel that it's going to hit it's audience this winter. I think "Fantastic Mr. Fox" may have to settle for DVD and hopeful cult status among hipsters to keep it floating. That last part actually makes me saddest than any of it.

"Fantastic Mr. Fox" **** out of ****

The Twilight Saga: New Moon review

I'm gonna aim at this nice. Really nice. Nicer than I feel I ought to be. "New Moon" is indeed NOT as bad as "Twilight", but it still sucks, it's still loaded with issues and it's got some leaps and bounds before becoming a good or even mediocre franchise. When I review "Twilight" last winter I spoke about how great the screening was because it was so funny. Jokes were flying left and right and it ranks up with screenings for "10,000 BC" and "Dragon Wars" as the top three best screenings of the worst movies I've been to. Sadly "New Moon" was watched by myself in a car outside of a Days Inn where I mooched off their free wifi. I'm also doing it while writing this review. I'm slick like that.

Anyways with "New Moon" we get what's on those terrible trailers and then some. Robert Pattinson's Edward Cullen is as pale as ever and his acting is still as stiff as Heff's trouser snake after poppin' a few viagra pills. Kristen Stewart's Bella Swan is equally wooden, but most of the laughs honestly came from here in my opinion. Her three month long depression and nightmares where she would screech like a dying hog in her bed till her father Charlie (who's role is now that of a generally Anthony Hopkins supporting type role, where he walks in gives advice and a pat on the back, exits the room, collects his check and is off for the hills) comes in to comfort her. He's a saint in my book.

Early on Edward and his family leave (you find out the real reason later)and he informs Bella that he's not coming back and leaves her with the words 'just don't do anything reckless'. Therefore the first thing she does after 'breaking' out of her depression is hope on to the back of a motorcycle with a greasy stranger. The movie attempts to provide a reasoning for it, but let's face it that was pretty damn stupid. Re-enter the newly muscle clad Jacob played by Taylor "Sharkboy" Lautner. Okay I'll say it, I like this dude. I think he could have a future. Then again it could by because he's one of the few main characters that knows that the word emote is an acting term and not just a long word for emo. Jacob generally likes and cares about Bella and their scenes together aren't bad. In fact they're kind of good, but we all know that it ends in heartbreak and all that Stephine Myers made bullshit.

We get better CGI, but still bad CGI. I think they need to design a better looking werewolf or something that this point and the Zack Snyder-ed fight sequences come off as like ripped off Zack Snyder-ed fight sequences. Which they are. This brings me to Dakata Fanning, Michael Sheen and the Volturi. The whole roman catholic... operatic thing... it never really impresses me anymore, That was part of my issue with "Angels & Demons". The whole look of it is fantastic, but it's all over done or shot the wrong ways most of the time so it loses it's flair to me. However I will say that both Fanning and Sheen are terrific. I was skeptical about Fanning, not because of her acting (because she can act the shit outta anything at this point), but of the look she has which manages to make her look younger. It still occurs, but it works out here. As for Sheen well... he's Michael goddamned Sheen! He can play anything to perfection. In fact the man is posed to at some point win an Oscar. It ain't gonna be for this, but his brooding and seriousness plays well.

So that's as kind as I'm going to get with this film, okay? Now... here's where I stand. I get why this stuff is popular, but it sucks. Thsi franchise stands for just how crappy a re-imagining of a mythical creature can get and just how far you can exploit it. Director Chris Weitz who also directed 'About a Boy', 'American Pie', 'American Dreamz' and 'The Golden Compass' is still someone who doesn't inspire directorial confidence or storytelling confidence. The dialogue is worldly better than in the first film, but it's a work in progress (I hope). However by biggest beef still lay with the complete lack of chemistry between Pattinson and Stewart and how unconvincing their love story is. The few scenes with Jacob were more inspired, loving and interesting that any of this or the last films dealing solely with Bella and Edward. Bella (big shock) makes dumb decisions with men and the female, have two men fighting over me fantasty lives on with no concept of logic.

Furthermore why this movie is two hours and ten minutes is beyond me. There were a ton sequences and scenes that weren't there to build anything except a runtime. Thus making for a really boring experience outside of the interesting end of the first act and mildly interesting beginning of the third. Then again there is still plenty to laugh out. The end is a big one actually. Pattinson's cold glint and ultra-long pause make the final line even funnier and more soap opera-ish then it should be. But then again most of his lines are delivered in that same fashion. So I'll leave on this, Jacob and Alice (who I'm sorry I didn't mention earlier) are good. This movie is one those that displays the works and look of the supporting characters more than the leads. "New Moon" as a whole is blockbuster of a film that fans will carry on their backs till the next film (which is next year probably) and then they'll carry that one. The only thing I wish was that the press would openly mock a movie (like this) that's actually bad. However they won't because it's made a ton of movie so it must be good. Had it not though I wonder would they all be so eager to suck on the "Twilight" tit. I guess we'll never know.

"The Twilight Saga: New Moon" * 1/2 out of ****

World Humanities Expo 2009... North America

Before I pump out whatever reviews I've got coming along I wanted to share with you an interesting experience myself a several others had yesterday. This week instead of attending our World Religions class, we get to go to the World Humanities Expo. Basically it's several projects done my students in humanity courses on display as well as lectures and movies about things in the world. Exciting. On Monday ( we have this class three times a week) we endured the hour long tale of the head of the humanities department's trip to Mexico that he takes every other year.


This might have been a mildly entertaining story except for his lack of any interest while talking about this junk and his various photographs displaying... well what we know is in Mexico. Nothing more, nothing less. Think of him as the professor... excuse me... doctor that we've all met. Wednesday however brought possibly the best day we've ever had in that class. The schedule we were handed had our alloted time slot as "Open Mic". This is a term that should always be met with caution and those attending such a thing should fear for worse than whatever they think the worst is. And indeed we got some shit.

The following is going to be a transcript mixture of things written and said during the four performances we bared witness to. I will however add in the necessary information so the comments make more sense in context.

Writers: Devon, Erin, Ben and Guy

*The young man with a guitar from my theater class is on stage singing Incubus, followed by Hootie and the Blowfish. Judging from his backwards "TAPOUT" hat, a Nickelback song isn't too far behind. I can't imagine anything good coming from this. More information forthcoming.

*Our professor has just given us the introduction explaining what's about to happen. Basically we're hearing music that's uniquely American based. Apparently rap is uniquely American. Another class as also entered. One of their students resembles the Wolfman (Lon Chaney Jr. not Benicio Del Toro). We are informed that at some point we will be listening to Christian rapper (I assume this is the connection with religion so we feel like we 'learned' something today)

*The two rappers who open the show approach the stage. They are short, fat and rather frumpy looking black guys. They're led by a skinny balding white man with circular glasses and light brown hair. I joke that perhaps he's their manager or producer, but is in fact a North American studies teacher. Ben and I also joke about how he discovered to two guys.

Ben- See by doing this, he can get away with not feeling bad about not giving a homeless black man a dollar.

Devon- (impersonating teacher) Yes you boys'll do.

Ben- (impersonating teacher) Your pants are significantly baggie enough so you must be rappers!

Devon- (impersonating teacher) Yes I believe you people call this... 'hood-fabulous' right?


*They take the stage and introduce themselves (I have no idea what their names are) and prep their first song called "The Eye" (not based on the Asian or Alba horror movie).

Devon- This is SO American. I hope they play 'Fuck her Gently' by the greatest American band, Tenacious D.

Erin- This certainly is Christian Rap at it's finest. (the song was implying sex. Something I'm sure neither of these boys know anything more about then what their right and left hands have taught them.)

Devon- That man (N.A. teacher) is thinking 'This is the best Negro song I've heard since Swing Low!"

Erin- This is the best day I've ever had in this class.

Devon- AMEN.

Erin- I love how annoyed some of these people are. If they aren't laughing, their looking like they want to get the hell out of here.

*The duo were slated to play 5 songs... and they did. This was probably around song 2.

Devon- Now I know what this has to do with religion! By the end of this song you'll pray for ARMAGEDDON!

Erin- Look @ the Wolf Man. (He seemed to be annoyed and itchy. Perhaps more research is needed into his... existence to understand.)

Guy- This is literally the best/worst thing I've seen all month. I love it. And teach left the room.

Devon- Right now we need a Kanye interruption...

Erin- You're black. You could get away with doing it.

Devon- I think the jewish guy (guy in our class... possibly only half jewish) needs it more than I do.

*Song 3 begins. Their explanations before each song are terrible and the sad applause after each one is done more so that we can all get our ears back to hearing a harmonic tone, instead of their crappy singing. The third song also sounds like a poor Kayne West slow-mix. Very poor.

Devon- I think they just referenced 'Jizz in my Pants'.

*The other class walks out of the performance. Teacher included.

Devon- Anybody got any throwing rocks? I'm surprised they're still going.

Ben- White liberal guilt makes some people do the most bizarre shit ever. (refering as to why the hell did this man think these boys could rap, sing, perform, speak publicly or even dress.)

Devon- THAT'S A BINGO!

*I forgot someone.There was a man standing in the auditorium handing out flyers. He was older, somewhat Mickey Rourke like (before he got 'cleaned' up) and was wearing a black leather vest over a white shirt. We joked that this was what happened to Han Solo after years of adventuring and drinking.

Devon- I wanna hear Han Solo rap.

*Song 4 begins. Almost finished with them. The crowd is silent and either bored to death or tearing up holding back laughter.

Devon & Guy- WORST BANDS EVER: 5. Good Charlotte & Kid Rock 4. ICP 3. Nickelback 2. Creed 1. These two rapping ass clowns.

Erin- Their raps are the shit.

Devon- Their raps are shit.

Erin- Right, Might, Night (mocking the rhyme scheme they used in the song)

*The final song is about to start. One of the two boys explains that he was just told about the song the night before, so he'll be reading it off a paper. We're not worried, we figure it might only be an improvement. Also the story about the song titled 'Vanilla Rain' is based on a character created by a girl they know. The character is a stripper. Also we figure the name is an easy rip from better songs with similar titles (i.e. Purple Rain, November Rain, Chocolate Rain...)

Devon- If these songs aren't funny, then I don't know comedy.

Erin- Crazy theater girl likes this! She's bobbing her head.

Devon- I haven't felt this patriotic since Bush got re-elected.

Devon- Nothing says North American culture like a candy coated stripper song...

*Finally they're done. However the next performers aren't ready yet, so the North American studies teacher grabs a guitar and states 'I know a buddist song!'. We're about to get worldly.

Devon- He's about to get jiggy with it. Please God let him sing in Chinese!

*Ben notices something about a girl in our class who has a reputation for attempting to subtly debunk religions she's not a member of. I.E. anything that's not buddism. She's large, pale, cartoonishly nerdy and makes asinine comments frequently.

Ben- That girl over there, that always asks the insane questions, I couldn't remember what/who she reminds me of. I realized it's the "feels good man" frog from message boards.

*He is correct.

Devon- (nearing the end of the song) I hope he plays FREE BIRD for an encore.

*Now we're in for a real treat. Two older men with guitars take the stage and tell of us a story about America's history with railroads and trains. Ben muses about the death of thousands of Chinese laborers during that time. The folk-like song begins.

Devon- BREAKING NEW 2 rapping ass clowns over taken by 2 ass clowns singing 'Old McDonald'.

*They finish up their boring goddamn song and we're left with but one rapper. The real Christian rapper. He resembles Lil' Jon. However there is a sound issue that needs fixing. The teacher goes to work on it. Ben looks over and states 'ah... the white mans burden'. I find the timing of it ridiculously funny and my gum falls out of my mouth while laughing. He takes the stage.

*Funny enough he's not bad, but because of the music being so loud you couldn't understand a word he said. However his rapping skills could one day help him out.

And that's that! Hopefully Erin can post the videos she took of the first act online soon and I'll update this post. This was a direct transcript from a book passed around between the four of us during the show. We can only imagine what tomorrow, the final day of the Expo will bring.