A Nightmare on Elm Street review

I maintain that I'm not someone who believes nothing ever could or should be remade. Somethings definitely don't ever need to be touched because there's little to nothing that could be brought to them to improve what's already there; but then some I would say... ehh... if you've got some goods and with technology and skill levels higher now than back then why not. In that lovely line up and late seventies and early eighties horror icons Freddy Kruger graduated and won the respect of his fellow classmates by being Most Creative, Most Charismatic and Class Clown. Sadly he loss athletic awards to that jockey Jason Voorhees, but he never let that keep him down. Being who he was is partly what made the 'Nightmare' franchise what it was. You had a different type of killer that could get you in the worst possible way, in your sleep and sooner or later you would have to face him.

However with all the sequels and "Freddy vs. Jason", he loss almost all that villainous terror and became like a weird game show host. He was just there to dance around, make jokes and kill the teenage contestants. Albeit in a creative manner, thus the idea of remaking "A Nightmare on Elm Street" would (for me at least) fall into that why not spot. But the key to remaking this is to return that horror to the character, what he did, what he was before he died and to get us into the lives of these kids. That's why the first one (and a couple of the sequels) worked. Instead we get 90 minutes of almost complete CW movie of the week B.S..

I'm not a hater of Bay's Platinum Dunes company either mind you. In fact I still enjoy both their remakes of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and "Friday the 13th". Both of those spent a lot of time attempting to not rest into the originals they were set after, but tried to play it a different way while giving fans what they generally wanted. In fact they've never remade something that was sacred (and no the whole remake of 'Rosemary's Baby' and 'The Birds' isn't true) so even if I hated the movie (like 'The Amityville Horror' or this) it never bugged me too much. However they did fuck this up. But let's dwell on the few positives first. Jackie Earle Harley was the fan choice for Kruger and he was a damn good one. There actually is a point where I was 100% on board during the movie because of the way he played Kruger. The mannerisms, the voice, the cock-eyed glances, those worked to a tee. He brings some of that classic Freddy humor, but strangely a bit darker and with more kick.

There's also a portion of the movie in which it does turn into a horror, mystery picture and it kind of works. The flashbacks to the pre-school work in a subtlety creepy fashion and generally the film is very handsome looking. As are most P.D. pictures. Now let me see... what else...ummmmm that's it! Pretty much everything else sucks! The opening of the film (which you've seen on the second trailer I believe) is more like a parody to a Freddy movie than anything else, most of the 'teen' actors are awful and seeing them attempting to seem sleep deprived or emotional or just anything other than slightly wide eyed versions of characters we've seen on CW shows is almost funny at times. Hey some ARE from CW shows! Generally look for the people who look impossibly pretty in the film and that's them. I'm also getting pretty fucking tired of Steve Jablonsky's scores in P.D. films because IT'S THE SAME DAMN THING EVERY MOVIE! I'm not saying get a new composer, I'm just saying hold a gun to someones head and tell Steve to make music that isn't just loud clangs and electric bangs.

Now... another thing P.D. is known for is picking up directors who are from roughly the same background Bay was from until Don Simpson and Jerry Bruckheimer gave him his break with "Bad Boys". So here we have nearly legendary music video director Samuel Bayer making a pretty generic attempt at horror. Seriously with his lengthy background I expected far more dream sequences and even the ones we got we're completely great (although two did do the trick). His recreating of classic scenes from the first movie was also something of a shitty move, because he either played it straight (as in the body bag being pulled down the hallway) and shot it almost beat for beat or try to amp it up the scenes with CGI (like the one of him coming out of the wall) and all I think is SUCK.

Honestly there isn't a lot more to say about the film; none of kids have real personalities or do or say anything interesting. It's all part of moving ahead with this almost interesting story that for a little while isn't bad and then gets boring and repetitive as the deaths are all pretty much the same, the vibe and characters all feel the same and at the end you really didn't give a shit if the new Nancy (who reminds me of something Tim Burton once drew) defeats Freddy and 'saves' the other kids. In fact by the end you don't really want to do anything except leave the theater hoping you're next outing to a horror film won't suck anywhere near as much as this did.