Marmaduke review

"Marmaduke" is something that was probably set up to be made somewhere within the 90's and got lost in the shuffle of bland ideas with lamer than lame jokes. With a host of bizarre things in this movie however the biggest oddity is the quite talented cast involved.

After watching the film in it's entirety it's hard to imagine most of these people reading this script beforehand and thinking 'yeah... this is a great movie to be a part of'. My guess is that a nice sized pay check came paper clipped on top and that was all these people really looked at.

Basically the story of "Marmaduke" is that of an 80's high school movie... wait... no. It's like a 90's high school movie that thinks those movies from the 80's high school movies were so super cool that it wants to have that same vibe. Only with dogs. Owen Wilson voices Marmaduke, a two hundred pound teenage dog who moves from Kansas with his family to Orange County California. Basically it's everything you've ever seen with human teens and high school cliches, bullies and set ups... but with dogs. There is dog romance, dog dancing, dog DDR, dog partying, dog surfing even dog white water rafting without rafts. All done with creepy and fairly annoying CGI mouth work.

Now lets talk some more about this cast, shall we? In addition to Wilson, we have Emma Stone ('Zombieland'), Sam Elliot ('The Big Lebowski'), Fergie (singer... you know who I'm talking about), Keifer Sutherland ('24'), Damon and Marlon Waynes, Lee Pace ('Pushing Up Daisies'), Judy Greer ('Arrested Development'), Steve Coogan ('Tropic Thunder'), Christopher Mintz-Plasse ('Superbad') and William H. Macy (far too many fantastic films to name). Oh and George Lopez, which is the only non-surprising name in the bunch. He probably offers up the biggest reason to never (even for the sake of laughing AT the film) watch this. He voices Carlos, Marmaduke's cat friend. What the writers or Lopez himself have done is made sure that everybody and their mama knows the character is Latino, by stereotyping the hell out of everything he says. His character alone dances on the line of annoying stereotype and being out and out racist.

Also there's a sequence in which basically Marmaduke pretends to be racist against cats so the 'cool' dogs will like him. And yes I'm aware of what they were aiming for with that segment, but at the end of the days that's what it is. Moving on from that though is just tons and tons of awful things to look at and really weird things to think about. Like how can dogs string up lights and hook up DJ equipment in a house? And why after the house is trashed to almost cartoonish fashion do the owners not think that they had a break in and someone wrecked the place? OH NO it's just our giant retarded dog! That's why there's random ass turntables and what not crunches on the Ikea rug. What happens after the doggy date in the junkyard with the girl dog Jezebel? And why is William H. Macy so freaking creepy in this film? So much to ponder.

I do seriously wonder though why any execs thought this movie was a great idea. Then again while watching the trailers for "Smurfs" and "Gulliver's Travels" with Jack Black I wondered the same thing. Unless both films hide some great, lovable magic that comes through only while watching the film (not impossible, but I highly doubt it). But why create this movie? As crappy as all this was at least as a full ANIMATED movie I could have seen some of this junk maybe... SORT OF working a little better or at least not being so weird. I could live with Lee Pace's character fucking falling every time he ran in the animated world because perhaps it would be some sort reoccurring joke that he mentions later. Actually... scratch that; that would imply that the writers would have had some idea of what humor is. It probably wouldn't matter what medium "Marmaduke" was in because it'll still be unfunny, witless and annoying.